girl with chocolate
photo: iStock Photo

When it comes to beauty, fashion, and even diet and exercise, you should always do the things that make you feel attractive for yourself, not for anyone else.

Right?

Not according to hundreds of people on the internet. A conflicted woman recently posted on Reddit that her boyfriend "suggested" she lose the weight she'd gained because he's less attracted to her. She even noted, before deleting the original thread, that she's still the same weight as she's always been.

Her question for Reddit was: Should she break up with him?

The overwhelming response: Yes — but not because of that.

"He's allowed to like what he likes," said one user. "You are allowed to live your life how you choose. If you don't want to lose weight, don't. ... He's not wrong for finding you less attractive, but he's an asshole for considering cheating."

The original poster had also noted that her boyfriend told her that her weight, and his unhappiness with it, has made him thought about cheating on her with a coworker. And that's what people latched on to.

"Weight and fitness are an important part of physical attraction and physical attraction is important in a relationship. The thing that would make me reconsider the relationship would be the fact that he admitted to thinking about cheating," said another user.

Never mind that she says she hasn't even gained weight at all. One Reddit user acknowledged this, but still noted: "She didn't gain weight... [but] if she [had] gained weight, I would be on his side."

Admitting to considering cheating is terrible, whether it's about weight or not — but even if he left that part out, she should still dump his ass.

The original poster says she hasn't gained weight, even though her boyfriend thinks she has. OK, fine — but even if she had, his behavior is, regardless, manipulative and controlling.

"Everyone deserves to be loved at any weight," licensed marriage and family therapist Esther Boykin told Glamour. "If you are in a relationship where love and affection seem to be connected to your physical appearance, then it's time to re-evaluate why you are together."

Telling a partner that they have to lose weight because you're not attracted to them anymore? That's your problem, then. She's the only one who needs to be happy with the way she looks, weight gain or no. If this asshole boyfriend of hers doesn't find her attractive, she should send him packing, because there's someone out there who will.

Just as there is for all of us.

h/t Glamour