As someone who is constantly in front a camera, I've grown accustomed to strangers discussing my body in the comments section and IRL.

After years of hard work and a lot reassuring myself, I went from hiding my body to displaying it unapologetically. 

Growing up I was constantly asked about my weight. It was a regular topic of conversation.

In school, I would sit in a corner hoping no one would look at me or comment on my weight. At home, I learned to laugh through my insecurities by making myself the center of attention.

I was basically living a double life. 

Recently, my body went beyond friends, fans, and family — and turned into an international joke.

fat shaming meme

Various accounts reposted the meme and it accumulated millions of likes and comments.

At first I felt a pang of hurt, but I quickly buried it. Heck, I had meme'd myself first anyway.

How you feel when you eat a salad. ????????????????

A photo posted by Jessica Torres (@thisisjessicatorres) on

How could I feel offended if I started the joke?

People I know (and strangers) messaged me to let me know that I'd been meme'd. I told them it was fine and I wasn't losing any sleep over it, which was a lie.

I make a living encouraging women to love their bodies — one meme was not going break me. I feel responsible for the women who look up to me and my confidence. I had to remain strong and unbothered. 

But I was in denial. The meme did hurt my feelings.

I tried to convince myself that the meme was funny. But when I showed it to my family, it was a whole different story.

My siblings and I are very over-protective of each other. The meme did not amuse them... They reminded me that I am allowed to feel insulted.  

They made me realize that I have a right to be upset. I am allowed to stand up for myself if I feel offended.

Did I get in the comments and start clapping back? No. But I stopped burying my feelings about it (like I did when I was younger). 

Sometimes it's not about a grand statement or an epic clapback. It's about validating your own feelings, rising above, and keeping it moving.

photo: Instagram.com/Thisisjessicatorres