The garbage article slammed Rihanna's alleged weight gain, condemning the singer for "enjoying that good room service a bit too long."
Spags insisted that Rihanna's "high key thiccness" would lead to "a world of ladies shaped like the Hindenburg."
He said that a world in which Rihanna is "fat" would be a "tough world to stomach" because it signals a time where it's acceptable for "all the hottest girls look like the humans in 'Wall-E.'"
"It's time to worry if you're not a guy who fancies himself a chubby chaser," Spags warned his fellow douche bags.
Upon noticing the backlash, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy issued a statement — but his "apology" is just as infuriating as the original post.
Portnoy acknowledged that the article made "lots of feminists not happy." He announced that he would delete the blog post — but not because the article was offensive, misogynistic, and problematic.
Portnoy only deleted the post because Spags did a bad job telling his "jokes."
"To be honest I don’t think the blog was as bad as many are making it out to be, but I’ll tell you this. It wasn’t that funny either and I could have told you with absolute certainty that feminists would hate it and use it as an example of 'there goes Barstool being Barstool again.' There are just certain topics that you better nail if you’re gonna write about them because you know they are hot button issues for us. So if you’re gonna blog about Rihanna gaining weight you better be funny as fuck and you better make it bullet proof."
Was that the start of the worst "apology" in the history of apologies?
Portnoy continued his "apology" by dragging his own blogger.
Portnoy put all the blame on Spags, insisting that he's not a blogger worth "going to war for."
"If Big Cat or PFT or KFC or I write this blog, I’ll defend it to the death. They have earned that trust and loyalty from me," Portnoy declared. "I hired them because I think they are all legitimacy hilarious people. However, as I’ve said many times, Spags wasn’t originally hired to be a personality at Barstool. He should not be writing blogs that we as a company end up having to defend."
Portnoy concluded, "I’ve been doing this long enough to know that somewhere down the line this blog will be dug up again and used as an example of our extreme sexism. Frankly that’s not a hill I’m willing to die on."
Not to say that Portnoy should defend Spags' article (he shouldn't), but the Barstool founder could at least own up to the atrocious content found on his website.
Rather than flat-out say "That article was not OK," Barstool basically minimizes the fallout by insulting its writer.