I watched the last half of Beyonce's historic Coachella performance literally holding my breath, partly because it was the kind of performance that takes your breath away and partly because I was worried that her boob was going to come out.
Our Queen Bey danced so hard that her camouflage bodysuit couldn't keep up.
Beysus had to hold her hand over her chest as she danced to "Single Ladies" to keep from having a nip-slip.
And when she whipped her hair it looked like the outfit had torn in the back.
Obviously she was giving her all to the performance and there were no breaks in the last segment where she could go backstage or get a peek at what was going on back there. All she likely knew was that there was a rip somewhere and she went into cautionary mode.
Not only that, her thigh-high boots fell down on the job and turned into... gasp... pirate boots.
Kelly Rowland was wearing the same boots during the Destiny's Child segment and they fell down on her, too.
The wardrobe malfunctions first began during the Destiny's Child segment, while the trio was transitioning from "Say My Name" to "Soldier."
You could see her tugging the tank top right before singing, "We like them boys up top from the BK" and putting her hands up in a triangle.
Her outfit was compromised at the exact moment before her two most rigorous dance songs: "Get Me Bodied" and "Single Ladies."
Beyoncé is a noted perfectionist who likes to control her image as much as possible. Having a wardrobe malfunction and not being able to give her all to the dance moves must have made her see red, but she couldn't show it. And she didn't — because she's a goddamn professional.
Costume kerfuffle be damned. She slayed Beychella like only she could.
Beyoncé is set to perform a final set at Coachella this weekend on April 21. You can bet your whole life that there won't be a wardrobe malfunction.
Get ready for part two, world.
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