When Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift broke up earlier this month, signs seemed to point to this being a surprisingly amicable split. Harris (who, according to sources on E! News and People, was the dumper), even took to Twitter to make it explicitly clear just how dang mature they were being in a message that Swift promptly re-tweeted:
"The only truth here is that a relationship came to an end & what remains is a huge amount of love and respect," the 32-year-old DJ wrote.
Of course, a few weeks and one Tom Hiddleston later, and Harris seems to have changed his mind. Spinning a rapid 180, he's now deleted said democratic tweet and made it clear just how butthurt he truly is over the many signs that Swift is moving on. Sure, he might've been the one to reportedly end things, but she should at least be sad for a *little* while longer, right? Right??
Wrong, dude. Here are five Harris-inspired lessons on how not to handle the end of a relationship.
Don't tweet (then delete) a message like this when you learn your ex is rebounding.
Are you older than 15? Well, OK then.
Heartbreak is hard, but losing your dignity isn't a necessary byproduct. You'll be tempted to, but do NOT make any public stances about your ex's behavior following the break up. Avoid social media altogether if that's what it takes.
Don't take thirsty pictures with hotties, or write shady comments on Instagram. (Is your ex jealous yet?)
"What, Taylor is dating Tom Hiddleston? Fine! It's all fine! Look at me surrounded by hot girls! ALL FINE!"
Some are interpreting this seemingly random "I write songs" caption as a juvenile dig at Swift. I'm not sure I buy that, but it does seem pretty pointed that the girls he's surrounding himself with aren't in any way famous. Harris has allegedly been throwing a lot of shade at Swift's Hollywood lifestyle, saying he's done dating dating celebrities and is now solely interested in "normal" girls, according to TMZ. He also made some similarly dismissive comments on Instagram (since deleted), saying he feels "FREE" without Swift and accusing of her controlling the media.
Even if Father John Misty might agree with that take, it's a pretty far cry from Harris' previous statement about "love and respect." So much salt.
Don't purge your social media accounts of your ex's friends and family on DAY ONE.
Unfollowing or even blocking your ex straight away is one thing. It's understandable you wouldn't want to see them popping up in your feed. Taking things to the next level by unfollowing and/or blocking everyone who's close to them — like Harris did — on day one is just petty. Maybe go get a massage or something, first.