Have you ever been on a date with someone who told you they worked for a TV show? If that TV show was "Broad City" and the person you went out with was a man, head's up: They were probably lying to you. But it's alright, because actual "Broad City" writer and star Ilana Galzer has got our backs.
On Wednesday night (June 8), Glazer dropped into a Lower East Side comedy club to work on some stand-up material. Before she began her set, however, she provided a much-needed public service announcement to her audience — by calling out some dweeb by name who lies about being a "Broad City" writer to get laid.
The audio of her call-out was first published by gossip blog Oh No They Didn't!, and you need to listen to it if only to hear Ilana's pitch-perfect reaction to finding out someone's been using her TV baby for evil. (There's a lot of "YIIKES", which is the correct response.)
One of the writers for "Broad City" season 4 discovered this when her friend told her she'd gone on a date with someone who also claimed to be a writer for the series — which, obviously, is totally false. "There's, like, four of us," Ilana noted. 'Abbi and I are, like, two of the four."
This wasn't just the hokey kind of lie you tell to someone you'll never see again, either — this guy got elaborate. According to the friend, he also reposted pictures he took with Abbi and Ilana at a 2014 comedy show with captions suggesting the three were friends, and sent the girl images he found online of "Broad City" production and attempted to pass them off as his own.
"I'm like, some girl's gonna die and blood will be on our hands," Ilana said. "I got douche-chills for days."
So, if a guy ever he tells you he's besties with Ilana and Abbi, be on your guard. "No men work on 'Broad City,'" she said. (For the record, there are some male writers on the show, but it's not difficult to whip out your phone and verify that on IMDB if you meet them IRL.)
"Don't fuck a dude because you think he works on 'Broad City,'" Ilana concluded. That's just good life advice in general, really, but it's so much better when the Kween herself is telling it to you. Truly, Ilana is doing the Lord's work.