Kesha's latest cover interview didn't just skim over her relationship with Taylor Swift or how her new album reveals a more raw, "exposed" her. While she's opened up about her eating disorder before, she's never gotten this vulnerable about the series of events that led to her stay in rehab, and what happened after.
What happened to Kesha is a reminder that even compliments have to be chosen with care.
No matter how close we are to someone, we will never truly know what someone is going through. People who suffer from eating disorders are particularly skilled at hiding their illnesses. For example, many stash food or eat full meals only to purge them later.
While compliments usually come from a good place, they rarely acknowledge the sometimes unhealthy way a person has gotten to the weight they're at. Compliments about weight loss should be doled out with caution, otherwise they may encourage a person's potentially dangerous behavior.
Kesha said it got so bad she started hiding her food.
"I was like, 'Oh, my God, what if they walk outside and see this food in a bush?" Kesha revealed, recalling a time when she was at a dinner party. "Or they see it in the garbage can? And I just had all this mounting anxiety. And then finally I was like, 'Fuck. This. Shit. Fuck this shit. I'm hungry!'"
In addition to her hunger, her anxiety was starting to build, too.
"I am so anxious that I feel like I'm going to explode from all the secrets. All the secret times I'm pretending to eat or other times I'm purging, and I'm trying to not let anybody know. And I'm just fucking sick of this shit. And I remember just shaking because I was so fed up, so anxious, and I was just mad that I had let myself get to that point."
After getting the help she needed, she began to feel like herself again.
The day after an artist friend won several Grammys, he called her. However, it wasn't to discuss his personal wins — it was to congratulate her for a personal win: saving her life.
It was once she chose eating and chose life that she began to be kinder to herself.
"I did just take my life into my own hands and choose life over a slow, painful, shameful self-imposed death. And I need to stop just being so fucking mean to myself."
And that's worth ALL the Grammys.