Kanye and Kim Kardashian-West are easily the most exposed couple in the game right now. Still, whenever they sit down as a duo for an interview — complete with glamour shots by Karl Lagerfeld, of course — and reveal facts about their "private" lives, it feels like a Big Deal.
The Wests' latest opulent tell-all, an interview given to Harper's Bazaar from their Bel Air rental manse (their dream home is still being built nearby), is no different. In it, they answer a series of rapid-fire questions about their likes (favorite Taylor Swift song?), dislikes (worst habit?), hopes ("How would you like to be remembered?"), and dreams ("Is there anything you wish the world didn't know about you?"), and give exactly the sort of candid — if not exactly soul-bearing — answers we've come to expect from the couple.
Here are our favorite new facts we learned about Kim and Kanye:
Kanye's favorite Taylor Swift song is none of them.
When interviewer Laura Brown asked the couple for their favorite Swift jam, West said "For me? I don't have one," while Kardashian said "I was such a fan of hers."
Kanye considers the couple to be Muhammad Ali and Marilyn Monroe reincarnate.
When asked for the historical figures they identify with, Kardashian struggled to come up with an answer ... but for West, it was easy: "Muhammad Ali, Marilyn Monroe — all day. Next question."
Kim can smell your gross, rotting teeth.
I nearly spit out my coffee when I read this. Mostly because I was afraid the sugar was giving me cavities; and that Kardashian would smell them from across the country.
When asked for their hidden talents, Kardashian said "I can smell when someone has a cavity. It's a very specific smell — not a bad-breath smell — but something that is really strong."
West said "he can analyze people's intentions immediately," which makes me think he'd either be a great contestant on "Big Brother" or a really bad one.
Kim is insecure about "looking fat" — and Kanye had some ~ comments ~ about her pregnant body.
I admire Kardashian for admitting her biggest insecurity is "looking fat sometimes."
"I really do take it seriously — I try to do what I can and diet and stay in shape, and it does make me insecure when I'm heavy," she continued.
I know we're living in an era of "body positivity" 24/7 and that's a fantastic thing, but for a woman of Kardashian's airbrushed fame to admit she still struggles with insecurity is a firm reminder that almost none of us are immune. It's humbling. (West's biggest insecurity was his finances, btw.)
What gave me pause was when she also later admitted that the thing she wished the world didn't know about her was "some ugly looks and stuff," and West chimed in with "some pregnancy stuff. You killed this second pregnancy, though.Your body slammed that crap. You made that second pregnancy your bitch."
So ... Kardashian's pregnancy with North was an ugly look? OK.
We can stop talking about Kanye's debt, because it's no longer a thing.
Mark Zuckerberg can put away that checkbook, because West no longer needs his measly $1 billion — Kardashian made damn sure the world knew that West's debt is a thing of the past.
"[After you announced you had debt] you didn't have any debt; it seemed to all figure it out," she said, mere seconds after West made a comment about his finances.
A daughter of Kris is a daughter of Kris, man.
Kanye is not a thinker.
This one speaks for itself: "I actually don't like thinking. I think people think I like to think a lot. And I don't. I do not like to think at all."
To Kanye, Kim's nude selfies = Adele's smooth contralto.
"I love her nude selfies," West explained. "Like, I love the ones from the side, the back ones, and the front. I just love seeing her naked; I love nudity. And I love beautiful shapes. I feel like it's almost a Renaissance thing, a painting, a modern version of a painting. I think it's important for Kim to have her figure. To not show it would be like Adele not singing."
West himself did a nude selfie or two back in his day as well. "You'd get a good cock shot here and there," he explained of his "single days."
Kim got Kanye a private island, and Kanye realizes that this is obnoxious.
"You see, those are the type of statements that make people not like us, more so than the 'I'm the best' statement," West told Kardashian, when she revealed the last gift she got West was a private island for his birthday.
"It's more the 'Oh, yeah, I just rented an island for his birthday ...' You know in 'Meet the Parents,' Owen Wilson's character? All of our shit is like Owen Wilson's character; he's like, 'This is when we jumped off Mount Everest, and we wore turtle flight suits or whatever.'"