miley cyrus grammys 2019
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Miley Cyrus is March's Vanity Fair cover star, and she got very open about her life and her marriage in her interview. Cyrus also opened up about what it's like to be an openly queer person in an opposite-sex marriage (she and long-term boyfriend Liam Hemsworth tied the knot late last year). 

But her particular relationship with queerness isn't what I'd consider an accurate representation of what being queer is like for the rest of us. She has privileges that so many LBGTQ+ people such as myself won't have, including this Vanity Fair platform. 

I'm not writing this to claim Cyrus' queer identity is invalid or problematic in any way whatsoever; it's just that I fear her amplified queer voice could drown out the experiences of others.

Miley Cyrus just did a very open interview with Vanity Fair.

In the interview, Cyrus discusses different aspects of her life and identity in depth. She talks about getting married, how she felt being a role model thanks to Hannah Montana, what it is like being criticized by everyone, and more. She also muses on what being queer means to her. However, her queerness doesn't affect her life the way it affects other queer people's.

Cyrus said she's proud to be queer, but that her identity doesn't affect her romantic relationships.

Cyrus has been open about the fact that she's gender neutral and pansexual for years, although she maintains she doesn't like labels. And I'm proud of her; her journey to understanding herself was difficult, I'm sure. My issue here is that her seemingly neutral stance on her own queer identity is rare in the LGBTQ+ community for a reason. 

Many queer people feel their identity is a huge part of who they are in their romantic relationships, unlike Cyrus. 

Being queer can define people's relationships heavily, contrary to Cyrus' personal experiences. From the moment I came out, I made it a point to let people know in the beginning of any possible relationship that I'm pansexual. 

My sexuality is a part of my identity, and if people don't know, understand, and accept that part of who I am, we can't move forward. Not to say that Liam Hemsworth doesn't do all this for his spouse, but Cyrus seems like she's dismissing this huge part of who she is because it's easier not to think about it.

Point blank, Cyrus doesn't have to have her gender and sexual identities stare her in the face every day, because she's privileged in more ways than one.

In no way am I faulting Cyrus for being in a relationship that appears heterosexual. She's free to be with whomever she wants, and Hemsworth is someone she's had a long relationship with. 

However, there's certainly privilege in a relationship that presents itself as heterosexual, because it's within the social norms. It's safe. Heterosexual-presenting couples rarely have to worry about what others think when holding hands or kissing in public. They're safe in that way. But so many queer people don't have that luxury. 

On top of being in a hetero-presenting couple, she also adheres to gender norms by dressing in a  feminine way — which is also fine, but it doesn't necessarily reflect every queer experience.

Being gender neutral isn't synonymous with looking androgynous — I am in no way saying that Cyrus has to dress a certain way to affirm her gender identity and play into some stereotype to truly be queer. 

What I am saying is that Cyrus dresses in a feminine way, and that certainly helps her navigate the world. Sure, people may not like every outfit she wears, but it's not as if she walks around in stereotypically masculine clothing on the red carpet. Her feminine looks match what society expects her to look like, and that can come off like another safety net. 

And I can't forget the monetary wealth Cyrus enjoys — meanwhile, visibly queer people are statistically far more likely to live in poverty, be homeless, or be denied jobs.

Miley Cyrus has a lot of money. She's had a successful career on her own, but we can't act like her father isn't country music legend Billy Ray Cyrus or that her husband isn't successful actor Liam Hemsworth. How her money was acquired doesn't matter, though. 

Money is a privilege. If she wanted to get a new wardrobe to affirm her gender identity, she can or she already has. If she wanted any kind of gender affirmation procedure, there probably isn't much stopping her. These are things plenty of transgender people will certainly have to save up for.

That being said, Cyrus does what she can for other, less wealthy people in the LBGTQ+ community. She founded The Happy Hippie Foundation, a nonprofit that aims to fight injustice directed at LGBTQ+ youth.

I will agree, however, that she and her husband are "redefining" marriage as she says they are.

I think the traditional view of young marriages such as hers is that they're full of mistrust and men who make jokes about being "locked down." Those ideas are old and tired. 

But Cyrus and Hemsworth's relationship has defied that idea at every turn. They took time apart when they needed to. A source even told People that Cyrus was "soul-searching" in the two years they were apart. I can't say for sure, but taking that time apart shows they were mature enough to know they needed time and didn't feel the pressure to take that next step right away just because they were already engaged.

And Cyrus' carefree attitude is something we can all aspire to, queer or not.

Cyrus does what she wants and doesn't seem to apologize to anyone for it. She even says in the interview that she changed her appearance because she wanted to and that it doesn't make her something that she's not. 

"I wore a dress on my wedding day because I felt like it, I straightened my hair because I felt like it, but that doesn’t make me become some instantly 'polite hetero lady.' ”

She's not letting her relationship define her identity, and that's badass.

In the interview, she says, "Just because something changes in my relationship doesn’t mean something has to drastically change in my individuality." She's allowing herself to grow and change in her relationship, and Hemsworth is free to do the same. 

This is especially great given that the two of them are young. Cyrus seems to have this "living in the now" attitude down pat, and her relationship appears to thrive from that.

Cyrus' queer identity is all her own, and that's amazing! Just keep in mind that there's more than one way to be queer.

I have no issue with Cyrus in any way; in fact, this isn't even really about her. I just want to clarify that there's more than one way to be queer. Plenty of her fans and people who don't know what being queer or a part of the LGBTQ+ community is like could very well read this interview and come away with a skewed sense of queer reality. 

Cyrus, while queer, is still just one example of what "acceptable" queerness looks like. This is what close-minded straight people will see as queerness they can digest and understand. I stand with Cyrus in her unapologetic queer identity, but I also know there are so many other ways of being queer that she simply can't reflect all at once.


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