Miley Cyrus is doing A LOT of things these days. She's been dodging pregnancy rumors and teasing a long-awaited album. Cyrus recently performed a rap freestyle that had everyone virtually scratching their heads. She also yelled "Beyoncé" really, really loudly during said performance, and well, I get it...? Of course, those antics were all due to the fact that her album, She Is Coming, was on its way out in mere days.

Well, She Is Coming (btw yeah, it means what you think it means) is finally here, and in true Miley Cyrus fashion, the pop star dropped a ton of sex-positive merch to celebrate the release of new music. Translation: Miley Cyrus is being Miley Cyrus, and she's inviting you to Miley Cyrus right along with her. Are you still down?

In case you haven't gotten any of the obvious hints, Miley Cyrus' new album is meant to stir up some, er, special feelings.

The album is super sex-positive. Cyrus candidly sings about feeling sexually liberated and powerful. It's a dope message. She's also released the album with this really cute promo art that features her talking on a banana phone. Yes, the banana is supposed to be what you think it's supposed to be. Subtle Cyrus is my favorite Cyrus.  

She also dropped this strange phone call video...?

We're not sure who Miley Cyrus is talking to on her banana phone. What we do know is that she has an alter ego named Molly who likes to engage in frisky conversation. She also, um, bagged the person's mom before and didn't hesitate to let him/her/them know the *sniffable* details. 

LMAO and guess what else?

If you call the number that Miley Cyrus shared on Instagram, you do talk to her. Sort of.

"Call me anytime," Cyrus invited fans on Instagram. And you know I had to call the number. You actually do get to hear a recording of Miley Cyrus. She instructs anyone who is 18 years or older to breathe in and out. There are also strange cat sounds. Miley Cyrus also instructs you not to grab her 22-inch tail. 

Lmao. If you're going to call now, the best thing to do to really enjoy the experience is to suspend all logic and just enjoy Miley Cyrus being weird. That's the point, I guess.


But Miley Cyrus isn't just kicking off her album with weird, sexually charged telephone games. She also made sex-positive merch. 

That's right. The She Is Coming album comes with merch that boasts more o***** innuendos. There are T-shirts that reference her hotline number. One T-shirt explicitly says, "She came." Whew! If you aren't ready for this Miley Cyrus merch, then it doesn't matter because this merch is ready for YOU. 

And yes. There's a $20 condom. 

Behold, a Miley Cyrus condom that boasts the new album title that also reads like a promise given the product. Honey, Mrs. Hemsworth did not come to play around. I feel very weird to say I truly do appreciate Miley Cyrus promoting SAFE sex positivity. Sex is all about liberation and fun and all that good stuff, but there's an important message that needs to always go along with it. BE SAFE, YA'LL. 

You also get a free copy of the She Is Coming album when you purchase one, so really you're splitting the money between the condom and the album if that makes you feel better about the concept of a $20 condom. 

Of course, some critics still don't approve of the Miley Cyrus message.

"A 20 dollar single condom just because it has your name on it. You must be joking! @MileyCyrus," one person wrote to her on Twitter. 

Er... that's a $20 condom with a digital copy of an album, thank you very much. Have some respect for Miley Safe Sex Cyrus, why don't you?

Some people are simply digging the positive message about sex that Cyrus is sending to her millions of fans.

"I love, love, LOVE the fact that Miley Cyrus' merch includes condoms that say 'she is coming.' Yaaaaasss, promote safe sex and encouraging men to bring their partner to orgasm," one critic wrote. 

This statement is actually true. A huge percentage of women never experience *the moment,* and part of the reason is that for years, sex was positioned as an event meant for male pleasure only. Women were looked at as objects of servitude, which truly blows. In the digital age and in a social climate where more people are speaking up for women's equality in every area of life, more people are promoting sex as a freeing and equal opportunity activity. 

Yay for Miley Cyrus using her music platform to promote this message to her fans.