Natalie Portman and "Everything is Illuminated" author Jonathan Safran Foer (who also happens to be the Literary Fuckboy Ambassador) have been exchanging email correspondence for more than 10 years. Now we, the privileged public, have been granted the opportunity to read a selection of them. What a time to be alive!
Allegedly, it was their relationship as pen pals that led Foer to want something more with the "Black Swan" actress. In 2014, he reportedly told his also-writerly wife, Nicole Krauss, he was leaving her for Portman. But, like a true fuckboy, he'd forgotten to run this by Portman first, and she ultimately rebuffed his advance. Whoops.
This ever-so-slightly awkward incident didn't impede their willingness to reconnect via email for a New York Times feature published Thursday (July 14). Rife with self-congratulatory references to their own intellects, the resulting exchange was about as pedantic as one can possibly get. I hadn't previously realized it was possible to kiss someone's ass so much while also simultaneously kissing your own. These emails are therein a feat of acrobatics.
Try to make it through the following list of their most eyeroll-inducing moments without deploying a facepalm. Just try.
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