Rumors of Rihanna's pregnancy have been greatly exaggerated. There is no, I repeat, NO Rihanna baby coming. In the wee hours of the morning, the internet had a full-on meltdown over the prospect of RiRi being with child. As photos of her 5th annual Diamond Ball for charity hit the wire, some folks speculated that Rihanna had a baby bump — surprise, that's just her body in a dress! Can she live!?

Yes, Rihanna pregnancy rumors are a tragically frequent phenomenon. And they're all borne out of a toxic beauty standard that says that women's abdomens must be flat as a board, lest the peanut gallery theorizes about your progesterone levels. Come on now. We are better than this.

TMZ confirmed that Rihanna is NOT PREGNANT.

A "source with direct knowledge" told TMZ that Rihanna is not pregnant. I'm sure that if Rihanna was with child, she would be the first person to tell us. It's almost like people should wait for journalists to do their job before talking about celebrity uteruses!

The pregnancy rumors resulted from photos of Rihanna in a dress. Cue a million eye rolls.

Rihanna looked incredible in a gown from Givenchy Fall 2019 Haute Couture. LOOK AT HER! She's beauty, she's grace, she's definitely not pregnant; this is just her body, not that it's anyone's business!!! Phew.

People were disappointed. Um.

On Twitter, Complex hilariously summed up the brouhaha by making fun of everyone who took Rihanna's not-pregnancy personally. The amount of men who made this about them...*shakes head.* Look at these embarrassing tweets.

So Rihanna might be pregnant n I jus realized that I’m NOT the father pic.twitter.com/SN9fVLOpVx

— Brandon Newton (@BigDaddyCooter) September 13, 2019

Rihanna is pregnant and am not the Father ???????????? pic.twitter.com/xpu9hEie3e

— JN SHINE (@ThisIsJNShine) September 13, 2019

Rihanna is pregnant and I’m neither the child OR the baby daddy pic.twitter.com/y0zHsR0FFC

— Riz (@RizChrystopher) September 13, 2019

Can women get bloated or eat carbs without people yelling "BABIES"?

I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that:
• Rihanna has a large and small intestine.
Rihanna gets PMS and likely experiences bloating.
Rihanna likes salt, and likely retains water after eating salty foods.
Rihanna also eats pasta.
Rihanna is a singer, and singers use their diaphragm and abdominal muscles to sing.
• Rihanna's weight naturally fluctuates.

Rihanna was drinking at the Diamond Ball!

We all know that Rihanna is a noted wine connoisseur. But Rihanna drank wine at the Diamond Ball because she is not pregnant, and pregnant Rihanna would not drink wine at the Diamond Ball. End of discussion.

Internet, please keep Rihanna's fallopian tubes out of your tweets.

Sure, celebrity pregnancies are fun, but you know what isn't fun? Speculating that women are pregnant without hearing it from them directly, because women's bodies are not public property. No one is entitled to the body of another person, and that means we shouldn't comment on or make assumptions about peoples' bodies. Women are not on display for the public's consumption, nor are women defined by the ability to become pregnant. Let Rihanna wear a dress in peace.