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Excuse me ... a roller coaster? A spectacle? Lots of laughs?

Sounds pretty UNromantic. Sounds like a carnival nightmare, actually!

Hiddleston continues: "[Swift] is an absolute delight. She's actually, um ... She's got such a wicked sense of humor and she's a really fun person to have around. She's really great."

"Um..."

Hiddle, what was that stutter?

Lol not buying this.

First the perfectly-timed leaked photos from the beach, to take the attention away from the Kim Kardashian/Kanye West drama after Kim's GQ interview blew up Swift's spot ...

Tell me this is not fishy. 

Then the perfectly-timed visit to a Selena Gomez concert together ...

I SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, TAYLOR "REPTILIAN" SWIFT.

Now this lackluster proclamation of feelings by your rumored "boyfriend?"

GREAT JOB TAYLOR at orchestrating your public narrative, you power hungry demon.*


*I don't think Taylor Swift is really a demon.**

**Yet.

Listen to Hiddleston's interview here:

UPDATE: Sources reveal this radio interview was a hoax by a genius Belgian broadcaster. We got played. However: we don't take what we said about Taylor back.