This Tuesday (October 18), Zac Efron turns 29 years old, because time's cruelty knows no bounds and we are all soon going to die.
So on that note, let's celebrate this fine Spooktober birthday — and Efron's final year as a carefree 20-something man — with his finest shirtless moments, ranked:
The pool scene from "High School Musical"
This has to go in last place because we are grown adults and Efron was a teenager when he filmed this, so, gross. But for the sake of being thorough, we MUST mention that this was the scene that kicked off the public's fascination with his shirtless torso.
The Abercrombie shimmy from "Neighbors"
This epilogue was supposed to show us that Efron's character had failed in life post college, but I personally took it as "this kid is doing exactly what he's supposed to in life."
The love scene from "The Lucky Ones"
Who knew the world needed a love scene between Efron and "Orange is the New Black" star Taylor Schilling?
Actually we didn't, because this movie is yet another Nichols Sparks North Carolina-ish yawn-fest, but still. Efron in his skivvies is hot.
This love scene with Nicole Kidman from "The Paperboy"
Efron did say that shooting these scenes with Kidman were the highlight of his life, so it would be unfair to the man himself to not include those on here.
Pretty much the entirety of his "Running Wild with Bear Grylls" episode
Run wild, you crazy boys. Wild and free.
The jock strap scene from "Dirty Grandpa"
"Dirty Grandpa" is a terrible Efron movie (one of many throughout his bumpy career), but this scene still deserves mentioning for obvious reasons.
I mean, the fact that these nasty strips of fabric covering his crotch region later sold for $1,300 in an auction speaks volumes.
The grilling scene from "Neighbors"
Points have been deducted for the distracting hot dog twirl, but Efron is clearly in his physical AND comedic element here, so I'll keep it.
The striptease from "Neighbors 2"
SPOILER ALERT this striptease ends in disaster, but the moments leading up to Teddy's epic embarrassment are spectacular.
Whatever is happening here in "The Paperboy"
Dear god. Why don't I wake up to this every morning. Or any morning.
The toilet scene from "That Awkward Moment"
Real talk, I haven't seen "That Awkward Moment" because really, who has the time. (Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller would probably prefer you watch them in "Fantastic Four," which is saying something.)
But I am a human being with eyes and have been sent this GIF from the film many times, and even with no context, this is a clear contender for the number two spot.
The 2014 MTV Movie Awards
Meninists love to point out that We The Internet would flip the ever-loving fudge out if roles had been reversed and Efron ripped off Rita Ora's shirt, exposing her bra. However true this may be, this bit was clearly approved way in advance with Efron's consent (if you haven't figured out yet that MTV Movie Awards winners know they've won ahead of time, I cannot help you), and it went down during his win for Best Shirtless Performance for "That Awkward Moment," so I'm pretty sure we can all chill out and be OK with it.