The media has come a long way in recognizing plus-size women and celebrating their confidence, but sometimes it seems like every step forward is followed by two steps back.
Especially if you're a reader of The Richest — a luxury lifestyle website that promises to "show you the truth" — which just published an article by Jim Hogue entitled "15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating a Bigger Woman."
As someone who identifies as a "bigger woman," I clicked on it hoping to find a woke AF article about how dating a plus-size woman is just like dating any other woman. Alas, I was greeted with garbage like "There Is Less Pressure On How You Look" and "They Tend To Be Eager To Please" as the reasons a man would want to date me.
Not only is the article's logic insane, it's pretty damn irresponsible to make wild assumptions like these about full-figured women and the men who date them.
I'd like to offer some much needed insight to Mr. Hogue and his editor.
According The Richest, skinny women need protection but bigger women are "tough" and don't need to be taken care of...
The writer posits that plus-size women love to go fishing with their dads and frequently do "tough" shit like mow the lawn. What???
First of all, your size does not dictate your physical or emotional strength, and it certainly doesn't assume any personality traits about the people attracted to you. In fact, that kind of thinking puts women of all sizes into two neat boxes that neither fit in. MOVE ALONG.
Things get really offensive when the writer says bigger women are all good cooks, will always let the guy choose the restaurant, and don't "calorie count."
Look, just because I have extra meat on my bones does not mean that 1.) I can cook, 2.) I'm fine with shoveling pizza into my mouth, or 3.) I'm happy to eat whatever my date wants because I clearly have no sense of self control or worth.
Dear men who think this way: I am not at any point going to bat my eyelashes and agree to cook something or eat something because a man assumes I have no standards. Fuck off.
The article goes on to indicate that plus-size women are easy in every way.
Several times in this article, the author claims that men want to date bigger women because we are more eager to please, and thereby easier going because we're just so grateful that a man even looked our way.
Um. No. Speaking on behalf of all full-figured women, I'll kiss or dismiss as I please. Honestly, buddy, there are plenty of men out there who are thankful that WE look THEIR way.
The most offensive, egregious part is when the author says that men date bigger women to build their confidence and prepare for the woman they're "truly attracted to."
I (and no woman at whatever size) exist for NO MAN. I am not something you settle for. I am not something you discard when you are finished. There are so many women who struggle with confidence, and claiming that all men only want to date them so they can have a stepping stone to something better is toxic and irresponsible.
Plus-size women are just as desirable, fuck-able, and wife-able as any other woman. Sit down, sir.
I'm not only offended on behalf of all women of every size at this article, I am peeved on behalf of the men who were just simplified and labeled for liking who they like.
BYE FELIPE! I hope you die alone.