1

Latex smells bad

Even if you're not sticking your nose in it, you can still smell that unmistakeable latex smell when you unwrap a condom. And it's not the smell of sex — it's the smell of a hospital. No bigger libido-killer, IMO.

2

It's less spontaneous

"Hang on a sec, let me just put a condom on."

But it's never just one sec. It's more like 20 secs, by which time the ~moment~ has invariably lost some of its urgency, its intensity. Which most people are willing to forfeit for the sake of not getting STDs or pregnant, but still.

3

It's less intimate

When there's a literal barrier between you and your partner, of course sex can feel less intimate. Condoms feel kind of sterilizing — like plastic wrap.

The skin-to-skin contact of condom-less sex just makes you feel so much closer to the person you're with.

4

Blowjobs really suck with condoms

Raise your hand if you want to give a blowjob to a rubber dildo!

Anyone? Buehler?

Yeah, I didn't think so. That's because it tastes bad and feels like nails on a chalkboard... if the nails were your mouth and the chalkboard was his condom-covered dick.

5

Ultra-thin condoms don't make a difference

Many brands make ultra-thin condoms that are supposed to provide the wearer with increased sensation during sex. For the wearer, maybe, but not for the person he's wearing it with.

Ultra-thin condoms or ultra-thick condoms, it's all the same to a vagina.

6

They make your vagina feel like a desert

Even if you're properly naturally lubricated, even if you're using lube (water-based, with latex condoms!!), even if the condom ITSELF is lubricated, there's just something so drying about latex. Which is bad, because the drier the contact between the condom and a woman's vagina, the more friction there will be, and the more likely it is that the condom could tear.

Yikes.

7

Ribbed? What??

"Ribbed for her pleasure!" some condom packaging boasts. "New variety pack!" "Warming sensations!"

The vagina, you're probably aware, has ridges of its own. It's not one smooth tunnel; it's got bumps and textures. Ribbed? Don't make me laugh. I can't feel your damn ribbing.

Also, the "warming" lube just burns, OK?

*mic drop*