I remember standing with my friend on the subway platform. It was late, and I was sobbing.
Maybe not sobbing — no I was sobbing.
I cry for reasons I can never explain; once I cried because my favorite shampoo was on sale. But here I was, waiting for a Queens-bound train, crying for a dumber reason than hair products. I was crying over a man.
I've never been one of those girls who could just sleep with someone. If you've been inside me, I've probably planned a wedding for us on Pinterest.
But when my friend said, “Don’t give this man your energy! He's just a snack boyfriend,” it totally changed my perspective.
Don’t get me wrong; I love snacks! I eat a lot of snacks! Sometimes I just eat snacks instead of actually having dinner.
But when you think about it, why do we have a snack? Because we're hungry, and don’t know when dinner is coming. They fill us up for a little while, but they never give us all our nutrients and aren't nearly as good as dinner. Don’t get me wrong, snacking definitely isn't a bad thing. But not all snacks are good snacks, and a snack still isn’t dinner.
Once during sex, this guy asked me if I came, and when I said no, he said, “Oh well,” and rolled over. He was a terrible snack — a handful of soggy crackers.
However, a good snack doesn't necessarily spoil dinner. The guy I’m snacking with now, well, he’s the guacamole of snacks. A snack that will never let you down. A snack that makes me breakfast and sends me dog photos. Guacamole is a snack that doesn’t make me feel shitty afterward.
Let me clarify that "snack boyfriend" might just seem like another term that could get grouped with "friends with benefits" and "side piece," but for me, it resonates more deeply.
Maybe it's because I love food.
It took a long time for me to understand that not every person you'll be with is going to give you everything you need, and that's fine, as long as you know what to expect from them.
There's nothing wrong with someone who is just a snack, but you should both be aware that you'll most likely never be each other’s dinner.
You don't want one person thinking they're getting a full meal while the other is eating stale baby carrots.
Sometimes, you really like someone as a person or you like having sex with them, but for whatever reason, you two just don't work. They're fine for the time being, holding you over until the main course, which will truly satisfy all your needs. Until then, remember to have fun, be safe, and that eventually, dinner is going to be bangin'.
Cover image: Flickr/garryknight