sweet baby jesus beer

Sweet Baby Jesus! is a chocolate peanut butter porter that tastes like a Reese's peanut butter cup.

photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

If you're not into beer (because it's too bitter, too malty, too whatever), don't be discouraged. There is one out there that you'll like. Trust me.

Because if you really do want to like beer — and you can! — you just have to start with something a little sweeter. Like dessert. These nine beers are more delicious than any slice of cake, bowl of ice cream, or plate of cookies.

Think you don't like beer? Think again.

Sixty-One Minute IPA (Dogfish Head)

dogfish head 61 minute
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 6.5%

If you like red wine, Smucker's jelly, frozen grapes, or all of the above, grab a bottle of Sixty-One Minute and listen up. While Sixty-One Minute is an IPA, it's not nearly as hoppy as other beers of that style. And because it's brewed with grape must, it's got a nice, tangy kick to it, and residual sweetness from the grapes. Super delish.

Banana Bread Beer (Wells)

banana bread beer
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 5.2%

You've probably seen this beer before in bottle shops and wondered, does it really taste like banana bread? Yes. Yes it does. It's malty like banana bread and has that distinctive banoffee taste and smell. No one would begrudge you having this for breakfast.

Black Chocolate Stout (Brooklyn Brewery)

black chocolate stout
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 10%

This beer is strong AF, but it's smooth and creamy like you wouldn't believe. It's also not as heavy as other stouts (like Guinness), so you won't feel it weighing you down. Want to really take this up a notch? Top it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream to turn it into a float.

Organic Chocolate Stout (Samuel Smith's)

organic chocolate stout
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 5%

You won't believe this thing is actually a beer. It tastes more like chocolate milk meets Ovaltine meets a mocha frappuccino. You'll also never believe that, despite how creamy and milky it is, Sam Smith's Organic Chocolate Stout is 100% vegan.

S'more Porter (Saranac)

s'more porter
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 6.2%

Saranac's S'more Porter has no graham crackers, chocolate, or marshmallows in it, but it still tastes like the real deal. The brewers use a combination of light and roasted malts to bottle up the taste of your favorite campfire treat.

Sweet Baby Jesus! (DuClaw)

sweet baby jesus beer
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 6.2%

Chocolate? And peanut butter? In a bottle!? Yaaaasss please! Truth be told, this is a heavy beer, but split it with a friend and it's the perfect amount. Obviously don't drink it if you have a peanut allergy, but you don't have one, then drink! Drink away!

Vanilla Porter (Breckenridge)

breckenridge vanilla porter
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 5.4%

The subtle taste of vanilla elevates this porter to crazy heights. It's nutty and roasty, but light enough that it's a great hot- or cold-weather beer. Feeling cozy? Breckenridge also brews this beer on nitro (i.e., nitrogen instead of carbon dioxide), which gives it finer bubbles and a smoother finish.

Voodoo Doughnut Pretzel, Raspberry & Chocolate Ale (Rogue)

voodoo doughnut beer
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 5.4%

If you're from Portland, or have ever been to Portland, or watch the Food Network, then you'll know that the city is famous for crazy-flavored doughnut shop Voodoo Doughnuts. Voodoo partnered with local brewery Rogue Ales to create a series of Voodoo-inspired beers — including this pretzel, raspberry, and chocolate ale. It's everything you need and more.

Warlock (Southern Tier)

warlock beer
photo: Revelist/Melissa Stanger

Alc. by volume: 10%

Southern Tier describes Warlock as a beer that tastes like "pumpkin pie laced with coffee and dark chocolate." It's a bit sweeter than its sister pumpkin beer, Pumking, and is perfect for fall. For me personally though, I'll drink this shit year-round. It reminds me of pumpkin chocolate chip cheesecake, and as far as dessert — and beer — goes, that's a gold mine of deliciousness.