The holidays come but once a year — and along with them, the obligation to spend your hard-earned money buying presents for people you actually hate.
Why leave those assorted jerks and dickheads off your list entirely, when you can low-key flame them with the most PERFECTLY passive-aggressive gift of all time? Here are 13 intensely shady gifts for people you secretly hate.
'Tis the season, after all.
A heinously difficult puzzle.

This Holiday season, remind your least favorite person of how dumb they are. It's an egg, right? Why can't you figure out an egg? ($35, Uncommon Goods)
The most disgusting booze in the world.

Malort tastes the way 2016 has felt — which is like poison had sex with a trash fire, then distilled itself into a liquor that will take paint off a barn door. Give this gift to someone you genuinely dislike, and have "It's a Chicago classic!" ready as an excuse. (Price varies; hit up a liquor store if you're of age).
For the office meninist.

A little something with which to groom their flourishing neckbeard. ($30, Amazon)
A potato of the month subscription.

Is your giftee a subterranean lump? Give them the gift of OTHER subterranean lumps with a subscription to the Potato of the Month Club. (Starts at $39, Wood Prairie)
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