In his piece, Spags tore Rihanna apart for embracing her "high key thiccness."
He slammed Rihanna for "enjoying that good room service a bit too long" and thus inspiring "all the hottest girls [to] look like the humans in 'Wall-E.'"
"It's time to worry if you're not a guy who fancies himself a chubby chaser," Spags warned douchebag Barstool readers.
After Spags' offensive article went viral for being total garbage, Barstool Sports decided to let the blogger go.
But if you thought that the senior editors at Barstool Sports fired Spags because they were appalled that he brutally body shamed a woman he doesn't even know, think again.
It turns out Barstool Sports only fired Spags because he was "unfunny."
In an effort to deal with the backlash, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy quickly issued a statement to announce that he planned to delete Spags' post — but his "apology" was a bigger joke than the original article.
In short, Portnoy said he only found issue with the article was the fact that Spags wasn't funny — not because the piece was offensive and misogynistic.
To further explain their decision, the team at Barstool Sports quickly through together an impromptu "press conference" held at the office water cooler.
Portnoy felt compelled to address the "moron Stoolies" — the endearing nickname Portnoy gave to the readers of his site — who still don't seem to understand why he decided to suspend Spags.
“I don’t want [Spags'] name on the website," Portnoy yelled at the camera. “I don’t want Spags to be the face of fucking Barstool ... This was actually the easiest decision of all fucking time.”
“It was an unfunny blog [and] this wasn’t the fight I wanted to fight.”
“Go fuck yourself,” he closed his speech, signaling the end to the emergency press conference.
Even though Barstool Sports failed to take ownership for the shitty content that was published on their site, most people were still happy to see the blogger go.
Spags, however, is not taking the news of his suspension in stride.
The scorned blogger turned to Twitter to drag his former employer."My boss can't handle getting called out in Cosmo now that he's trying to fuck anyyone [sic] who reads Teen Vogue," Spags blasted Portnoy after it was announced on Twitter that he had been fired.
After dragging his ex-boss, Spags proceeded to throw himself a pity party.
"One sad fact about my situation: I carried way too many people's strollers and carts up subway stairs lately and felt overdue for good karma," Spags tweeted.
But hopefully suspension teaches Spags a lesson or two.
These aforementioned lessons being: 1) Nobody has the right to body shame anyone, and 2) Maybe you shouldn't write trash articles for sexist websites that won't even claim you after they hit "publish."