Kylie Jenner's New York City pop-up shop opened Monday, February 13 — and I stood in line for for almost 11 hours to get in.
Needless to say I had a long time to think about stuff. Here are 100 thoughts I had while I waited (from 4 am to 3 pm) in 30 degree weather with what must have been thousands of crazed Kylie fans.
If I got here at 4 am and the store opens at 10 am, I should get in by 1 pm at the latest, right?
Shit. It’s only 5 am and my legs are already freezing.
I need to put on my hoodie, but then I'd have to take off my jacket, and then my bare arms will be assaulted by the freezing cold.
OMG it’s only 5:12 am. Why is time crawling?!
If Beyoncé can perform at the Grammys pregnant with twins, you can survive Kylie’s pop-up shop, Brittany.
People are sleeping on trash bags on the ground. Am I in the Kylie line or just in New York?
It better not rain today.
Why didn’t I bring a fucking blanket?
Is there a store open where I can go buy a blanket?
Are these kids all skipping school for this?
Listening to these youths talk about their high school drama is making me feel old.
She's only 15? Where are her parents???
I would NEVER allow my daughter to camp out in the NYC streets at 4 am alone.
Actually, screw safety. Seriously considering asking to get into that parked car that's running and probably has heat.
I should’ve worn thermal leggings instead of trying to look cute in jeans. Fuck looking cute. It's cold as shit.
I'm so glad I have a stool to sit on. Wish I had a blanket.
How many more hours until the store opens?
I wish the store was inside a mall like in California.
Wow, I haven’t had a brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart in so long. Best. Breakfast. Ever.
OH THANK GOD THE SUN IS UP.
I wonder what Kylie’s doing right now.
I want brunch.
I’m too cold to drink water. This is bad for my body.
Have to pee. Can't leave the line. If I leave, I know I won't come back.
OH SHIT THE LINE IS MOVING AND PEOPLE ARE PUSHING.
EVERYONE IS PACKING IN LIKE SARDINES. I think I have to drop my folding stool. Bye, stool.
I should've went into finance. Women's lifestyle media is dangerous.
I DON'T EVEN WANT ANY OF THIS STUFF. I AM JUST HERE FOR MY JOB.
Oh great, people are arguing with the security guards.
PEOPLE ARE TOUCHING ME. SO MANY PEOPLE ARE TOUCHING ME.
Do not cry, do not cry.
Yep, about 300 people cut in front of me when the line moved and turned into a mosh pit.
Karma. I hope karma comes for every single one of the cutters.
LOL CUE THE SNOW FLURRIES!
Stop chanting and cheering whenever a car drives by.
Kylie isn’t in that ambulance. Stop. Cheering.
I wonder if the ambulance is for someone in line...
I wish I put my hand sanitizer in my pocket instead of my backpack. I feel dirty.
Someone smells and I think they might be touching me.
My life is a joke.
How much longer do I have until my legs give out?
Can the person I’m smushed up against hear me eating Triscuits? I mean, I'm not going to stop, but I wonder.
I just want my bed.
Why can’t everyone just get along?
Am I even going to get inside?
Every time the wind gusts I die a little.
What if I get inside and there's nothing left?
What if there's only one thing left and it's Kylie's sex shirt with Tyga?
These police officers are useless.
They are 100% just judging us.
That girl just said she's only here to get a lighter with Kris Jenner's face. A lighter. A freaking lighter.
Oh Christ a videographer is trying to film me.
People standing on the other side of the street are judging us.
What's worse, the cold or the lack of personal space? I can't actually decide.
I miss my portable stool.
YEAH! Some line cutters just got sent to the back. JUSTICE IS SERVED.
This is the last time I'll wear these shoes. Garbage.
In fact, I'm burning this entire outfit.
Shit, somebody could steal stuff out of my backpack SO easily right now.
Don’t touch me.
This is my worst nightmare.
I can’t wait to take the longest, hottest shower of my life.
It’s going to be a bitch to untangle this rat’s nest under my beanie when (if) I get home.
My back aches so much. Curse you, backpack.
I’m going to be real sick after this.
What are the symptoms of hypothermia?
I can smell them on me.
Can’t. Feel. My. Feet.
Am I the Jack or the Rose?
(I'm here with a friend; we're holding onto each other in the mosh pit — I mean line.)
I guess clenching my muscles is today’s workout.
Why the hell did I do a seven-mile run yesterday? My legs are killing me!
I might die out here.
If I quit my job I can technically ditch this assignment.
Do NOT step on that nasty street water blanket kicked to the curb like your dignity.
Breathe in…. breathe out.
We're singing now. "Lean on me, when you're not strong."
I wish I had a face mask like the security guard.
So, what will people NOT do for Kylie merch?
People actually traveled here for this.
At the end of this I'm going to give Kylie a bunch of money. I don't feel good about this. Not at all. Nope.
LOL I DON’T EVEN KEEP UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS.
I’ve officially lost my damn mind.
I’m in such a dark place.
Yep. My legs have atrophied. Can't walk.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIIIIIIIIIIIS SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
I just want to sit down.
What does normal feel like?
At this rate, we’re not getting in until after 2 pm.
Mind over matter, you can do this.
You’ve waited over nine hours, it’d be dumb to just leave.
If you don't get in by 3 pm, fuck it. Go home.
I’m definitely making my boyfriend give me a back massage tonight.
In two hours I've moved three inches.
No one wants to eff with the older lady in front of me. So glad she likes me.
I can’t wait to rip this red paper KYLIE bracelet off my wrist.
OMG we’re next!! GIVE ME WARMTH.
Come on, let me in. I’m a small human. I won’t take up much space.
HELLO BEAUTIFUL DOOR
I am a warrior.
Want more of my misery? Click the link below for a photo recap of my experience.