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"Tamara, look how beautiful you are with that makeup,” Deitl then said to Tamara Holder, the host of the show. “What do you look like when you crawl out of bed in the morning?"

"I’d rather have you now, the way you look. You look beautiful, and I think it just enhances the beauty of that athlete."

Can you believe this shit was on TV? Lord.

Holder points out that Anna Kournikova has more sponsorships than Serena Williams, because she's "blonde and white and tall and thin."

This is true! The world is a pretty fucking racist place, and advertisers often allot their dollars to people who uphold "conventional" standards of beauty — skinny, able-bodies, white, cisgender. But instead of talking about that, Holder goes off on a tangent about how wearing makeup turns elite athletic events into vapid beauty pageants.

Never mind the fact that certain events (like gymnastics) specify that makeup must be worn. Never mind your personal preference, or what makes you feel confident: if you wear makeup at the Olympics, you might as well be competing for a Miss America crown, not a medal.

"The better you look, the better your career as an athlete,” Simone added.

Clearly that's not a problem for men; only women need to worry about that. Dudes like Mark Simone can have an off-brand Julius Ceasar haircut and do just fine.

"When someone looks better, people support that more," Dietl mansplained. "Would you put money behind a gal that won the gold who looks like a washed-out rag? No."

Can you believe that a human who looks like this...

bo deitl arbys
photo: Arby's

...would DARE call *anyone,* let alone an internationally-ranked athlete, a washed-out rag? This man should be down on his knees thanking God that he's allowed to live on the same planet with these Olympic goddesses.

If you're really feeling the need to torture yourself, you can watch the entire segment right here. I'm going to go back to my life, secure in the knowledge that neither Bo nor Mark has *any* say in the way that I — or female Olympians — decorate our faces.