penis highlighter

WE'RE ENTERING A GOLDEN AGE OF PENIS.

photo: Bitch Slap! Cosmetics

Not to be gross, but this makeup brand thinks you should take some balls to the face. 

While BuzzFeed recently unearthed dick lipstick from the depths of Amazon, a legit beauty brand has taken the "trend" way beyond novelty. Bitch Slap! Cosmetics, which has been featured in the pages of Allure, makes dick highlighter, dick eye shadow, dick blush, and dick lipstick.

Let's start with this cheery Deep Throat Highlighter, because why not? It's $20.

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Other shades include Deep Throat Gold, Pink, and Rust Dark. Buy the four-pack for $75! These dicks aren't cheap.

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Is that not the prettiest penis you've ever seen? I know what you're thinking: Mother's Day gift!

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Of course there's eye shadow...

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...and the swatches are really quite lovely.

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These Big Daddy lipsticks are $12 each and come in colors like Condom (gold-ish nude) and Virgin (peachy pink).

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Duh there are dick concealers, too.

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While we're disappointed that there's no vagina blush, the fun doesn't stop at genitalia. Check out this gorgeous zodiac wheel.

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Seriously.

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I wonder what the notes of this Big Booty Bitch fragrance are?

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One thing's for sure: The bitches at Bitch Slap have moxie.

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