I must confess, dear readers — my knowledge of "Fifty Shades of Grey," compared to yours, is minimal.
I've read the first of E.L. James' books — and "Grey," for some reason — but I have a hard time with James' prose, so I couldn't get past the first 50-odd pages of "Fifty Shades Darker." I am excited for the upcoming final two installments of the "Fifty Shades" film franchise, however, and therefore eagerly viewing each and every paparazzi photo uploaded from its Vancouver set onto Splash News dot com. (Whoever said paps are completely useless? Certainly not Kanye!!!)
I still don't know what's going on in said photos, but I have a pretty damn good guess or 10. Check out some theories below, and be sure to let me know how right I am in the comments!
Christian will dance to "SHOUT!" at an upscale-casual boat party.
Judging from his jubilant, hoppy moves and devil-may-care attitude, I'm going to guess that this is not a fancy, Grey Enterprises-caliber party. Bar Mitzvah, maybe? Christian has Jewish friends. They have kids.
Christian's brother from "True Blood" and Lexi from "The Vampire Diaries" will pick out flowers for his funeral.
Wait, why are THEY hanging out? Was she in the first one, and I missed it? What happened to the oh-so-perfect Katherine Kavanaugh? Did Christian finally kill her?! (Again, I've read "Grey," you guys. He hates her.)