Why the next James Bond should be played by one of these 7 women

For years, moviegoers have wondered who will take over the role of British secret agent James Bond after Daniel Craig, but recent rumors that he's leaving the franchise have added even more fuel to the speculation fire. Tom Hiddleston’s name came up pretty much immediately, and he feels like a pretty safe bet considering his natural charisma and charm. A huge chunk of the internet also still wants Idris Elba to land the role, but he’s busy playing a different used-to-be-white protagonist in “The Dark Tower.”

But what about if we went in an entirely different direction? What if this time… if Bond was played by a woman?

Okay, yes I know, there are a lot of barriers to this becoming a reality — starting with your garden variety sexists who will never accept a woman leading any franchise they used to care about as children, and ending with pedants who will argue that Bond is a very specific (and white) character based on Ian Flaming's own experiences in the British Secret Service.

The former point need not be dignified with a response, of course. But to the latter point, I say: who cares? The modern version of Bond has more in common with the title character of “Doctor Who” than he does with Fleming’s original character; these days he’s basically a classy British cipher that new writers and directors use to make gritty action movies. 

Besides, it’s not as if Fleming himself didn't publicly change his mind in favor of different interpretations of his text — he even added Scottish heritage to the character’s biography in a later book after Sean Connery first started playing the role. Of course, his original writing was still pretty racist and sexist by modern standards, but what better way to update his legacy than to allow marginalized people the chance to participate in it directly?  

When you think about it, a female Bond would make more logistical sense anyway. Most of history’s famous, most successful spies are women — like Mata Hari, Virginia Hall, Elizabeth Van Lew, and Harriet Tubman. And you wanna know why women make such great spies? Because as spy parodies like “Archer” and “Spy” (and more straightforward spy stories like “Marvel’s Agent Carter”) have rightfully pointed out, the handsome white upper-class man in a tuxedo tends to stick out like a sore thumb.

In contrast, even the most glamorous woman will be underestimated by her opponents, which will always give her an advantage. It’s like pitching left-handed, but with your whole body. Your whole lady body.

This doesn’t mean a female Bond couldn’t also be attractive and wear a tuxedo and sleep with Bond Girls, of course. Heck, that would be half the appeal — how often do women get to do that sort of thing in movies? (Especially the sleeping with Bond Girls part.) And let’s face it, there are plenty of amazing actresses who would have no trouble slipping into that womanizing, debonair role. For example: