Rihanna ANTI world tour
photo: Getty Images

Rihanna's ANTI World Tour kicked off March 12 and will hit 68 cities over the next year and a half. RiRi looks like the epitome of cool as she dips it low, belts it out in a blazer, and leads singalongs to bangers off her eighth studio album (that was honestly worth the wait). Rihanna is so cool I would actually pay to just see her in person from 500 feet away, even if there was no concert. 

But turns out on top of all this, Rihanna is also the funniest person I have never met. After watching these clips I have decided she is basically a stadium comedian.  

Here are the best jokes Rihanna has told *so far* on her ANTI world tour. 


The joke about Drake

Rihanna: "Whatcha gon' do?"

Drake: "Your hands are so soft."

Rihanna: "I'm gonna actually go, and let you have some fun in Miami for two seconds."

*Rihanna skips -- yes, skips -- off stage*

Instant classic. 


The joke about thirst

"Jacksonville! I'm drinking water. I'm just thirsty. 

Not thirsty like that. Like, actually thirsty.

I can hear you all shady motherfuckers laughing at me." 

Why is Rihanna so good at making witty banter with an audience of 40,000 people?


The joke about #420blazeit

"Is that a blunt?

I was so like in the moment and damn, [now] I got distracted.

Damn, Damn, DC!

I've been a good girl, too, tryna stop smoking and shit..." 

Rihanna doesn't care that smoking blunts in the arena is #illegal obviously. Why TF would she? Also, has she really been trying not to smoke? This is a big deal, I need more info. 


The joke about her band

@badgalriri calling her back up singers cute but her band "ugly as shit" ???????????? #ANTIWORLDTOUR @rihannadaily

A video posted by Marcus???? (@xlucid_dreamingx) on

"Make some noise for my band right now, my singers...you so cute. Not the band, the singers. The singers are cute. The band is ugly as shit. But, luckily, they can play instruments." 
This is a hilarious joke, albeit kind of mean. 

The joke about pirating her music

"How many people here pirated ANTI? 

That's okay, as long as you know this next song." 

It is so #ANTI of Rihanna to feel ambivalent about people bootlegging #ANTI, no?