Being a feminist beauty editor can be rough sometimes. Every day you're inundated with really relevant hot takes like "Ways your makeup is turning him off" and "16 things to NEVER PUT ON YOUR FACE BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND SECRETLY HATES IT." As if the only reason that one would wear makeup is for the pleasure of a man.
So it is with seriously mixed feelings that I report to you that I, Alle Connell, have discovered a weird man-attracting beauty product. It doesn't make my lips look fuller or my hair shinier. It doesn't magically make me look thinner or younger or any of the things we're told that we "must" do so we don't end up lonely old spinsters.
It's yellow nail polish.
I painted my nails yellow on Saturday with Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Gigabryte ($7, Target). Miracle Gel is my new ride or die drugstore nail polish: the coverage is flawless in two coats, and it lasts for a solid week without chipping or wearing at the tips. And Gigabryte is an awesome yellow — sunny without being egg yolky, bright without veering into acid green territory.
Anyway. My fiance immediately complimented me on the color — which is unusual, because he doesn't usually offer opinions on my beauty routine unless I ask. Unusual, I thought, but not SO strange.
Then on Monday, two men, completely independently, complimented me on my yellow nails. On Tuesday, a man on the subway asked me what color I would call my nails. On Wednesday, a dude yanked my headphones out to tell me that he recognized me from "that bar in Cobble Hill," because of my yellow nails. I don't even know where Cobble Hill IS. Thursday was my busiest day, with three men striking up conversations based on my nail color. Friday has been quiet so far, with only one dude asking me what brand my polish was.
This is not my usual life. I do not exist in a constant haze of male attention, which is fine with me — I don't radiate a "please hit on me" vibe for a reason. I'm not behaving or dressing any differently — still my regular all-in-black, bitch-faced self. The only thing different is my nail polish. Men who are cool with talking to women in public love yellow nails, apparently.
I immediately suspected a conspiracy; had some Dude Website recently written an article about picking up girls by complimenting their nail color?
Nothing — at least, nothing recently. I still couldn't explain it.
So I went to the source and asked my boyfriend and my best friend (who is a man) why the fuck I've suddenly become Please-Talk-To-Me Girl — and their answers were a bit surprising.
"The yellow is nice," said my fiance. "It's unusual, but not unapproachable."
"It's a conversation starter," said my best friend Michael. "I guess you don't see it that often. You want to talk to a girl, you look for a way in. Yeah, yellow nails would do it."
So there you have it. If you want to attract a bunch of male attention, bright yellow nail polish is the way to go. But, uh, don't say I didn't warn you.