photo: New Line Cinema

As you may remember from the beginning of "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," September 22 is the shared birthday of two of our favorite Hobbits, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. And as if that wasn't reason enough to celebrate, the American Tolkien Society also declared this date National Hobbit Day back in 1978, to honor the Bagginses' contribution to Middle Earth. 

We'd love to hop right on a plane to Hobbiton to join the festivities, of course, but Transatlantic travel can get a wee expensive. For the Halfling-at-heart with a budget, here are 17 ways you can live your most Tolkien life everyday. 

1

For starters, you should definitely eat often.

photo: New Line Cinema

And by "often," we mean scheduling time for second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper, of course. 

2

And drink a lot of beer, too.

If you can't score a pint of Barliman's Best at your local Prancing Pony, have no fear — there are plenty of "LOTR"-themed craft beers out there, like Fish Brewing Company's Smaug Stout and Gollum Precious Pils.

3

While you're at it, why not hold a feast?

photo: New Line Cinema

Gather round the Shire squad and make it a proper celebration! You can find guides for throwing your own Hobbit-inspired feast here, here, and here

Foods favored by Middle Earth inhabitants, per Tolkien, include: Mushrooms, rabbit, pickles, blackberry tarts, and, of course, lembas bread.

4

Don't forget to smoke from a pipe.

photo: New Line Cinema

We didn't say what to smoke — that part's up to you. Hobbits were particularly fond of an herb alternately called "pipe-weed" or Halflings' Leaf.

5

Embrace the small house movement.

photo: New Line Cinema

By now, how many headlines have we seen heralding real-life Hobbit homes? A lot. And do we still click on them? You betcha we do!

6

Write an autobiography.

photo: New Line Cinema

Both Bilbo and Frodo loved writing of their adventures, and we're glad they did (I guess Tolkien had a hand in it, too). It's never too early to start writing your own autobiography, or too late — Bilbo was 111 when he finished his.

7

Become a tree hugger.

photo: New Line Cinema

Treebeard seemed like a pretty chill Ent — at least, he probably *would* have been chill, if his forest wasn't under siege by Saruman.

Fun fact: In the 1960s, the deeply religious, conservative Tolkien unwittingly became a beacon of hippie counterculture, partly because of the Ents. Hippies were drawn to the "Lord of the Rings" books for their environmental themes, political subtext, and references to "drug culture," according to BBC

8

Forsake your family and immortality for that kingly D.

photo: New Line Cinema

Who's also your cousin! (Approximately 60 times removed, but still.) 

Interestingly, Tolkien nearly cut the Aragorn-Arwen romance from the books at the urging of the poet W.H. Auden, who was himself an Éowyn-Faramir shipper.

9

Wear matching squad brooches.

photo: New Line Cinema

The ones sported by the Fellowship are literally everywhere on Etsy

10

Learn Elvish.

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Tolkien began to create what would be his first of several Elvish dialects while still in secondary school around the age of 18. A devoted linguist since childhood, by then he was already familiar with Latin, Greek, Italian, Spanish, and several ancient languages, like Gothic and Old Norse. NBD or anything.

11

Practice making really, painfully obvious statements.

photo: New Line Cinema

No shit, Legolas. 

12

Conventional sentence structure? Who needs it!

If there's one thing Tolkien has taught us about language, it's that we get to make our own rules, right?

13

Ditch the shoes.

photo: New Line Cinema

The dirtier and hairier the feet, the better!

14

Always carry a staff.

photo: New Line Cinema

They're helpful both in keeping your balance and exorcising kings (like Théoden).

15

And use it to tell people to fuck off.

MOVE, BALROG, GET OUT THE WAY. GET OUT THE WAY, BALROG, GET OUT THE WAY.

16

Give yourself a baller nickname.

photo: New Line Cinema

In the tradition of Strider, Gollum, and Gandalf the Grey/White, pick a cool moniker. Use a Middle Earth name generator — like this one — for inspiration.

17

And finally — carry a gold ring on you at all times for the purpose of making seductive/creepy faces.

Our favorite "Lord of the Rings" drinking game: Take a shot every time Frodo makes an "O" face. Prepare to get sloshed.