As you may remember from the beginning of "Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," September 22 is the shared birthday of two of our favorite Hobbits, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins. And as if that wasn't reason enough to celebrate, the American Tolkien Society also declared this date National Hobbit Day back in 1978, to honor the Bagginses' contribution to Middle Earth.
We'd love to hop right on a plane to Hobbiton to join the festivities, of course, but Transatlantic travel can get a wee expensive. For the Halfling-at-heart with a budget, here are 17 ways you can live your most Tolkien life everyday.
For starters, you should definitely eat often.
And by "often," we mean scheduling time for second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper, of course.
While you're at it, why not hold a feast?
Don't forget to smoke from a pipe.
We didn't say what to smoke — that part's up to you. Hobbits were particularly fond of an herb alternately called "pipe-weed" or Halflings' Leaf.
Write an autobiography.
Both Bilbo and Frodo loved writing of their adventures, and we're glad they did (I guess Tolkien had a hand in it, too). It's never too early to start writing your own autobiography, or too late — Bilbo was 111 when he finished his.
Become a tree hugger.
Treebeard seemed like a pretty chill Ent — at least, he probably *would* have been chill, if his forest wasn't under siege by Saruman.
Fun fact: In the 1960s, the deeply religious, conservative Tolkien unwittingly became a beacon of hippie counterculture, partly because of the Ents. Hippies were drawn to the "Lord of the Rings" books for their environmental themes, political subtext, and references to "drug culture," according to BBC.
Wear matching squad brooches.
The ones sported by the Fellowship are literally everywhere on Etsy.
Practice making really, painfully obvious statements.
No shit, Legolas.
Conventional sentence structure? Who needs it!
If there's one thing Tolkien has taught us about language, it's that we get to make our own rules, right?
And use it to tell people to fuck off.
MOVE, BALROG, GET OUT THE WAY. GET OUT THE WAY, BALROG, GET OUT THE WAY.
Give yourself a baller nickname.
In the tradition of Strider, Gollum, and Gandalf the Grey/White, pick a cool moniker. Use a Middle Earth name generator — like this one — for inspiration.