Hey there, fellow geeky women. Sorry to say this, but the jig is up. None of us exist. I know this for a fact because at least once a day, I see somebody on the internet complaining about the heroines they see leading science-fiction and action movies, or harassing the female fans who dare to have opinions about the stories they love, or claiming that we're all just trying to ruin their fun.
But I guess none of us got that memo, huh? So, let's break down all the reasons why women just can't be as geeky as men can:
First of all, men invented science fiction.
Unless you count “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley, which is widely considered the first modern science fiction story in Western literature. Other than that, though. Totally all men.
What about superheroes? Women sure didn't invent those.
What’s that? "The Scarlet Pimpernel," which some people cite as the first example of a hero with a secret identity as commonly portrayed in modern American comics, was created by the Baroness Emma De Orczy? That sounds fake, but ok.
And they certainly never worked in video games.
I mean, there was Roberta Williams, who along with her husband Ken was one of the first and most influential games designers of the ‘80s and ‘90s and worked on 23 different games. Whatever, though, right?
Let's face it, women never worked in comics.
Tell that to all the women who inked, colored and wrote comics during World War II, like Ruth Atkinson, Fran Hopper, Ann Brewster, and Tarpé Mills. Well, I guess you can't because they ran the game so long ago — some of them created superheroes while Stan Lee was still an assistant at his first job.
They don't know what it means to be hardcore fans.
Except that women created the first modern fanzine for “Star Trek” back in the ‘60s — Spockanalia, which was published by Sherna Comerford and Devra Langsam in 1967. “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry even called it required reading for his writing staff.
And they never had a hand in any of your favorite fandoms, like “Doctor Who" ...
Who’s BBC television producer Verity Lambert, anyway? It's not like they did a biopic TV special about her recently or anything.
Or “Star Trek" ...
I guess original series writers Dorothy Fontana (who wrote the above scene from "This Side Of Paradise") and Joyce Muskat don’t count, huh.
Or “Star Wars."
The original trilogy was edited by George Lucas’ then-wife, Marcia (second from left). She even won the Academy Award for Best Editing for her work on “Star Wars” in 1977.
OK, but those are all exceptions. Girls don't care about nerd stuff now.
They don't watch superhero movies or geeky TV shows ...
Explain to me how at least 40% of the audience for every recent TV show and movie with a superhero in it is made up of women, then.
And when they do, it's only because they think the guys are hot.
And yet, "people will go because they think the actor is hot" is somehow never a good enough reason to greenlight a female-led movie.
Furthermore, all this recent attention towards female leads in media is pandering.
People have literally been accusing women in geeky circles of pandering when they create stories about women forever. In the book "Divas, Dames & Daredevils," author Mike Madrid points out that men used to write in to comic anthology series complaining about the female characters as early as the mid-40s. "It's not that I don't like girls," one reader said of a female spy character. "The more the merrier, but I just don't go for a Pistol packin'-mamma!"
As a side note, remember that time that “Doctor Who” creator Sydney Newman wanted the Doctor to regenerate into a woman in the mid ‘80s as a way to revitalize the show? Neither do the people who think the Doctor was always meant to be a man, I guess.