Hey there, fellow geeky women. Sorry to say this, but the jig is up. None of us exist. I know this for a fact because at least once a day, I see somebody on the internet complaining about the heroines they see leading science-fiction and action movies, or harassing the female fans who dare to have opinions about the stories they love, or claiming that we're all just trying to ruin their fun. 

But I guess none of us got that memo, huh?  So, let's break down all the reasons why women just can't be as geeky as men can:


First of all, men invented science fiction.

photo: Richard Rothwell

Unless you count “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley, which is widely considered the first modern science fiction story in Western literature. Other than that, though. Totally all men.


And it’s not like women have contributed to science fiction in the meantime ...

Excuse me. Are Margaret Atwood, Ursula K. Le Guin, Madeleine L’Engle, Octavia Butler, and Doris Lessing all invisible or something?


Or fantasy, that’s totally a man’s world.

Cool, I’ll let N.K. Jemison, Susanna Clarke, Mary Gentle, Tamora Pierce, Diana Wynne Jones, and J.K. Rowling know that they can all just go away forever.


What about superheroes? Women sure didn't invent those.

photo: The National Portrait Gallery

What’s that? "The Scarlet Pimpernel," which some people cite as the first example of a hero with a secret identity as commonly portrayed in modern American comics, was created by the Baroness Emma De Orczy? That sounds fake, but ok.


And they certainly never worked in video games.

I mean, there was Roberta Williams, who along with her husband Ken was one of the first and most influential games designers of the ‘80s and ‘90s and worked on 23 different games. Whatever, though, right?


Let's face it, women never worked in comics.

Tell that to all the women who inked, colored and wrote comics during World War II, like Ruth Atkinson, Fran Hopper, Ann Brewster, and Tarpé Mills. Well, I guess you can't because they ran the game so long ago — some of them created superheroes while Stan Lee was still an assistant at his first job. 


And they don't now, either.


They don't know what it means to be hardcore fans.

photo: Spockanalia

Except that women created the first modern fanzine for “Star Trek” back in the ‘60s — Spockanalia, which was published by Sherna Comerford and Devra Langsam in 1967. “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry even called it required reading for his writing staff.


And they never had a hand in any of your favorite fandoms, like “Doctor Who" ...

photo: BBC

Who’s BBC television producer Verity Lambert, anyway? It's not like they did a biopic TV special about her recently or anything. 


Or “Star Trek" ...

I guess original series writers Dorothy Fontana (who wrote the above scene from "This Side Of Paradise") and Joyce Muskat don’t count, huh.    


Or “Star Wars."

photo: ABC Photo Archives / Contributor

The original trilogy was edited by George Lucas’ then-wife, Marcia (second from left). She even won the Academy Award for Best Editing for her work on “Star Wars” in 1977.


OK, but those are all exceptions. Girls don't care about nerd stuff now.

Gee, I wonder where that stereotype comes from? Probably a few decades of comics, video games, speculative fiction, and even certain toys being marketed specifically to boys over girls in an attempt to make more money off of the gender divide. 


They don't watch superhero movies or geeky TV shows ...

Explain to me how at least 40% of the audience for every recent TV show and movie with a superhero in it is made up of women, then. 


And when they do, it's only because they think the guys are hot.

And yet, "people will go because they think the actor is hot" is somehow never a good enough reason to greenlight a female-led movie. 


So marketing sci-fi and superheroes to little girls would just be silly.

That's funny, considering that DC Superhero Girls is practically printing money by appealing to younger girls. 


They also don't play video games...

A photo posted by Ayu Mon (@awesome_ayumon) on

Even though both men and women are more likely to identify men as gamers (and men are more likely to identify themselves as gamers), according to Pew Research Center, just as many women play video games as men. 


And they definitely don't go to conventions ...

A photo posted by Vivian Sai (@vivsai) on

According to a 2015 survey by Eventbrite, both men and women now attend conventions in almost equal numbers. So, never mind. 


I mean, what are they gonna do, make their OWN convention?

I mean if they did, and named it something awesome like GeekGirlCon, it probably would be rad. But that'll never happen. 


Furthermore, all this recent attention towards female leads in media is pandering.

photo: Sony

People have literally been accusing women in geeky circles of pandering when they create stories about women forever.  In the book "Divas, Dames &  Daredevils," author Mike Madrid points out that men used to write in to comic anthology series complaining about the female characters as early as the mid-40s. "It's not that I don't like girls," one reader said of a female spy character. "The more the merrier, but I just don't go for a Pistol packin'-mamma!"

As a side note, remember that time that “Doctor Who” creator Sydney Newman wanted the Doctor to regenerate into a woman in the mid ‘80s as a way to revitalize the show? Neither do the people who think the Doctor was always meant to be a man, I guess. 


And the girls who say they like this stuff are just doing it for attention.

Hey, here's an interesting counterargument: who cares? After all, isn't wanting to talk to other people about your shared hobbies and be seen talking about them a fundamental component of the human experience?  You wouldn't say a guy wearing face paint at a sporting event is doing it for attention (even though he is), and you definitely wouldn't quiz him on the team's stats or assume he's faking it to trick you into being his friend. So why do some people still think that mindset is acceptable for women at comic conventions?


In conclusion, women can't be geeks.

Except that they are, and they have been, and they can, and they will be, and no matter how passionately you feel otherwise, there's literally nothing you can do about it. Sorry not sorry.