One of my greatest fears, even more than the certainty of death, is knowing I'm going to die before I do. This is a fear many people have, but they, like me, push the heart-slowing thought out of their heads.
Almost two years ago, I had to face this thought head-on when my mother's cousin, Frankie, developed Pancreatic cancer. I remember when she called me on the phone to relay the news.
"He's done" was the first thing I said. Pancreatic cancer is the shittiest of the cancers because it's the most fatal. There's always a sliver of hope with other cancers, but not with Pancreatic. There's no possibility of remission. There's no silver lining. At that moment, I knew he was going to die.
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