Since American swimmer Ryan Lochte stepped off the plane in Rio, the proverbial shit has hit the fan for the dumb dumb merman.
For one thing, this dude rolled up to the games looking like the Cold Miser.
Unfortunately for young Lochte, his tragic blue 'do was just the beginning of his sorrowful Olympic excursion.
On Sunday, August 14, Lochte and two other American swimmers, Jack Conger and Gunnar Bentz, said they were robbed at gunpoint by men who claimed to be police, The New York Times reports.
There it is the 4 x 200 free relay winning #gold for #USA #oympics https://t.co/DRoJX9UxYk pic.twitter.com/qgCXLpyFDh
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) August 10, 2016
But on Thursday, August 18, Conger and Bentz were pulled off their flights home and detained by Brazilian authorities, who claim the robbery story was a lie to cover up an alleged brawl at the gas station, which involved one of the swimmers peeing on the floor.
Lochte's legal council maintains the whole thing is TOTES NBD and definitely Brazil's fault.
“The country has a dark cloud over it for a million and one reasons, from their economy to their crime to their management of the Olympics,” Jeff Ostrow, Lochte's attorney, told The New York Times. “My client has cooperated thoroughly with the Brazilian authorities and stands behind his statement.”
While details are still thin, it's not unbelievable that a grown man who whose catch phrase is "JEAH" would lie about getting shitfaced and/or pee on a floor in public. Here's a cursory look at some of his past tweets:
Just watched "How to train your Dragon 2" amazing. No matter what obstacle is in ur way, ur family, ur friends, ur love will be there for u
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) November 1, 2014
I want a women that will cry and pour there heart out for me
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) June 7, 2011
Trying my first espresso ever..... Yuck! pic.twitter.com/ah3oOsScGk
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) November 4, 2014
Rocks, paper, siccor........
— Ryan Lochte (@RyanLochte) July 24, 2012
Like many Americans, my mom is heavily invested in #LochteGate, and says she is worried about how his severe unintelligence will reflect on our country.
"Please tell me this dude did not make this up so I don't have to be embarrassed for my country," she told Revelist. "Every time I hear him speak I worry for him."
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