mickey mouse

Mickey Mouse, noted bag-ruiner.

photo: Disney / Wiki Creative Commons

In its continuing attempts to be #cool and #relevant, Coach has teamed up with Disney to release a limited edition Mickey Mouse bag collection.

According to Refinery29, you'll be able to shop the entire collection on June 17 — but if you can't wait, check out the entire collection right here. 

Let's begin with the classic saddlebag with embossed Mickey on the flap.

coach mickey mouse
photo: Coach

I like the mustard yellow. It's like a fun schoolbag — except that if you can afford it, you're probably long out of school. (It also comes in a burnt poppy red, which, same vibes).

In the same shape is this white number, with Mickey positioned in the center, rather than down at the bottom.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

It's not my taste, but fine.

This plain white cotton T-shirt with an old-school Mickey sketch on it is inoffensive.

coach mickey mouse
photo: Coach

FYI: Coach sells sweatshirts for $400. You could fly to California and buy a shirt from Disneyland for that much.

It also comes in black.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

#blessed

This black leather tote is fine, if you're down for paying hundreds of dollars for an oversized souvenir.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

I feel like the women who can afford to drop $300 on a tote MIGHT not want to have a Disney character on the front, but what do I know.

And then there's this.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

This is a new version of the Dinky crossbody, which begins at $295 and goes all the way up to $600 — I'm guessing these Disney-branded bags will be near the upper end of that spectrum. Would you pay six hundred human dollars for a novelty wallet?

And this.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

This whimsy is so forced, I can feel it from here.

And THIS, which is poop-colored.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

You know, for those times you want a rodent blowing a raspberry on your purse.

And if you want to be a grown-ass woman carrying a Mickey Mouse backpack, do I have news for you!

mickey mouse coach backpack
photo: Coach

This is unfortunate.

And then there's this, which I can only assume is some kind of fashion joke.

coach mickey mouse bag
photo: Coach

"Hey guys! Do you think people will pay hundreds of dollars for a grandma bag with ears on it? LET'S FIND OUT."

And would you like it in barfy brown? ENJOY.

mickey mouse coach
photo: Coach

If misery came in a color and a shape, this would be it.

My actual response to this entire collection:

photo: Mean Girls / Giphy

Except, you know, about bags.

What do you think about this Coach x Mickey collab? Are you all about it, or are you thoroughly hating on it?

Let me know right here in the comments, or over on Facebook!