photo: Instagram/originaltopramen/Courtesy of Bottega Veneta

It's a question that has perplexed a generation: What are those?

Reader, I can answer this pressing question. These are ramen noodles. These are the mainstay of your college diet. These are the instant noodle cups you pop in the microwave at work when you can't leave your desk for lunch. These are shoes by Bottega Veneta that look like bricks of uncooked ramen. These are also very, very real and not a joke. Fire up a pot of boiling water and let's unwrap this fashion situation.


These are part of Bottega Veneta's Pre-Fall 2020 collection.

Luxury Italian fashion house Bottega Veneta released its new Pre-Fall 2020 collection, and salty soup lovers everywhere couldn't help but notice a similarity. These shoes look like bricks of uncooked ramen noodles, the kind that come straight out of plastic wrapping and cost exactly $0.29.


They come in different styles!

If you prefer your ramen noodles with exposed toes, feast your eyes on these salty shoes. The ramen noodle shoes also come in a mule sandal style, in case you really need to wear two blocks of dry noodles on your feet.


These shoes are absolutely intentional.

Beyond the ramen noodle shoes, there are other shoe styles in this collection. There are basket-woven leather mules, plain hooflike boots, rain boots with contrast lug soles, and pointed-toe leather flats; they're all very lovely shoes, juxtaposed with these monstrosities. The fact that the ramen noodle shoes come in tan and dark yellow is absolutely intentional and they are absolutely meant to look like noodles.


Fashion critics and the entire internet are scratching their heads.

I'm not the only one to point out this sodium-packed similarity. Dazed wrote that it is "student budget, but make it fashion energy."  The Diet Prada Instagram account was the first to make this startling discovery, but didn't even have a salty comment — it just posted a photo of the show next to a brick of noodles.


One thing is for sure: These will cost more than a quarter.

photo: Courtesy of Bottega Veneta

Unlike their iconically delicious inspiration, these shoes will cost much more than $1 for a pack of 4. A quick browse through the footwear section on the brand's site reveals that basic slide heels start at $790 and approach $2,000 for a pair of woven leather boots. The ramen noodle shoes won't hit markets until late summer 2020, so you have plenty of time to save up your quarters if you really want them. Just don't burn yourself when you grab them out of the microwave.