You need only look around to notice that denim in 2017 has gotten absolutely INSANE. From Topshop's plastic windows jeans to Kylie Jenner's "underbutt" pants, your classic pair of blues have been getting a distinctly bizarre fashion makeover lately.

But all that pales in comparison to Reformation's latest wackadoo denim creation. I don't say this casually, but this has to be the weirdest pair of jeans I have ever seen.

Feast your eyes on Reformation's aptly named zipper jean.

At first glance, the $148 distressed denim may look like any other high-rise, light wash pair of jeans... but they have a horrifying secret.

$148, Reformation.

That giant zipper? Yeah, it doesn't stop at the front of the pants. It goes allllllll the way around.

We're talking 180 degrees of crotch-to-butt crack zipper action.

I don't know about you, but this seems like a labial accident just WAITING to happen.

And the craziest part? Reformation can't keep these jeans in stock! Every size is currently sold out, and there's a waitlist for the restock that's already miles long.

The jeans, currently only available in sizes 23 - 31 (with petite lengths, too) are sold out. Gone. They have flown off the shelves. I've reached out to Reformation to see how long, exactly, the waitlist for these apparently very popular pube-rippers may be, and I'll update when I hear back.

These pants are certainly an interesting concept, and if you love them, more power to you! But respectfully, I am going to pass on split-crotch denim.

If not wanting to accidentally catch my undercarriage in the zip of my pants is wrong, I do not, under ANY circumstances, want to be right.