ASOS has a long, strange history of creating truly baffling clothing items. From adult dinosaur tails to the famous seatbelt-slip, the online retailer's WTF game is seriously strong.

But now, they've released a product so strange, I can't possibly parse it. Everyone, let me introduce you to the most confusing necklace in ASOS history.

Have you been looking for a necklace that celebrates your love of encased meats? BEHOLD!

asos sausage necklace.
photo: ASOS

It is a sterling silver nameplate-style choker ($23, ASOS).

And it says "SAUSAGE."

That's right. It's a sausage necklace.

asos sausage necklace
photo: ASOS

I know that '90s nostalgia is back full-force, so OF COURSE nameplate necklaces are coming back.

But why does it say "sausage."

Do we need to call your mom, ASOS?

All I can think when I see this is...

photo: Giphy

And, let's be real, a "Freddy Got Fingered" joke in necklace form isn't exactly timely.

I have SO MANY QUESTIONS about this necklace, it's unreal.

sausage necklace
photo: ASOS

What other breakfast meats were rejected before you picked "sausage"?

Is it a dick joke? It's a dick joke, right?

Why can't this necklace be shipped to Switzerland?

Why can't you get it wet? Will it turn into real sausage?

Seriously, this is a dick joke, right? RIGHT?

Maybe I just don't understand ~cool fashion~ anymore. If anyone needs me, I'll be over here.

weenie hut jr
photo: Nickelodeon / Wikipedia Creative Commons

I thought it was Mega Weenie Monday, but they moved that to Sunday.