kardashians coats
photo: Khloe / Kylie / Kim / Instagram

By now, you may have noticed an insidious disorder taking over the various Kardashian-Jenners: they are incapable of wearing coats correctly.

Sometimes they slouch them about their hands like wrist-warmers. Sometimes they slide them off their shoulders and grip them around their stomachs like a Muppet-skin stole. Sometimes I can't even identify what they're doing with their outerwear; I guess I just don't understand Kardashian fashion.

And if Instagram is any indication, this "unwearing" of coats has become a genuine trend. So I decided to try improperly wearing four of my favorite coats to see just how awesome — and practical — this look really is.

To properly get into the Kardashian fashion spirit, one needs the right base outfit. And that means it has to be TIGHT.

alle connell
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

This is a midi-length nightgown that I bought from Target in a cold medicine haze. It's the most bodycon thing I own, so naturally it was the perfect thing in which to channel my inner Kardashian.

I began by looking to Khloe to see how she unwears a leather jacket, my favorite item of clothing ever.

khloe kardashian leather jacket
photo: Khloe Kardashian / Instagram

Shoved down to elbows, artfully rumpled. Got it.

So I attempted the same styling with my own coat — and immediately felt 20% cooler.

unwearing coat
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

This is my favorite leather jacket, btw.

Unfortunately, unwearing one's jacket like this means that you can't move your arms — so reapplying lipstick becomes impossible.

unwearing jacket
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

If you're Khloe, you can probably just get one of your assistants or makeup artists to reapply your tasteful nude gloss — everyone else is out of luck.

Next, I tried unwearing a trendy denim jacket like Kylie.

kylie jenner coat
photo: Kylie Jenner / Instagram

Hey, sometimes you're wearing a bedazzled rhinestone naked dress and your forearms get cold, OK?

I casually draped a jean jacket from our fashion closet around my midsection, and immediately felt like a ~cool girl~

unwearing jacket kardashian
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

I'm dangling seductively out of the oversized denim jacket from Khloe's denim line ($265, Good American).

But once again, simple tasks — like pulling my hair up — became impossible while unwearing a coat.

unwearing coat
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

Wonder if Kylizzle will share some of her glam squad to help me wrangle my own head. Probably not.

I turned once again to Kylie, reigning queen of wearing coats incorrectly, for how to style an athleisure-inspired look.

kylie jenner unwearing coat
photo: Kylie Jenner / Instagram

Here's the Imagined Styling Checklist for this looqe:

- Pull jacket completely off shoulders.
- Hold it around your stomach.
- Make sure you can see the branding on the sleeve.

Got it? Good. Let's unwear some shit.

I put on an Adidas track jacket and immediately pulled it half-off for an authentically unworn Kardashian experience.

unwearing track jacket
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

First: This track jacket was the only vaguely athleisure coat I own. Sorry, I know I should really go to the gym.

Second: look at how elegantly it's sliding down my back! That was an accident of very shiny fabric!

Finally: I'm gonna come clean — this technically isn't my jacket. I borrowed it from one of my closest friends about eight years ago and kinda... never gave it back. Sorry that this is how you learn what happened to your coat, AJ.

While this was the easiest coat to unwear the hell out of, it left me unable to drink my coffee.

unwearing coat
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

OH.

HELL.

NO.

FASHION IS CANCELLED.

KYLIE IS CANCELLED.

SHUT IT DOWN.

Finally, I turned once again to Koko to see how to half-wear a fluffy fur coat.

khloe kardashian fur coat
photo: Khloe Kardashian / Instagram

This is the "1970s woodshop teacher by day, luxury velour catburglar by night" look.

So I pulled an antique fur out of storage and unwore it like the Kardashadjacent style star I so obviously want to be.

unwearing coat
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

This coat is about 150 years old. It used to be my mother's, and it was (I think) her great-aunt's before that. There's something very old Hollywood about letting a fur slide off your shoulders; this just feels RIGHT.

(Unrelated: This coat is proof that people used to be TINY. The sleeves on this hit me between wrist and elbow. By my great-great aunt's standards, I'm an unfathomable giant.)

It wasn't until I tried to carry my bag while unwearing this coat that things unravelled.

unwearing coat
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

I couldn't move my arms properly.

I couldn't loop the strap over my head.

"Awkward" doesn't even begin to cover it.

LESSON: You really can't dramatically drape a coat if you also have to carry a purse. You need a full retinue of assistants and hangers-on to carry your stuff for you.

unwearing coat
photo: Brittany Fowler / Revelist

Hey, fashion is suffering. Until I can afford my own squad of Instagram-famous lackeys to worry about my life for me, I guess I'll just wear coats on my body the traditional way.