One of the biggest fashion trends of 2017 has been the stick-on bra.
You can't open up Instagram without seeing style bloggers and celebrities magically lifting their cleavage with one of these gravity-defying boob holders. But are these bras actually any good? Can real people, not just perfect Instagram people, actually wear them? Jess and I found out.
We tried six of the most popular stick-on bras to see which one is ACTUALLY the best... and which belong in the trash.
Are you wondering if the pull-tie push up function worked on either of us? Absolutely not.
On Jess, the pull-strings gave limited cleavage results. "But I feel like you almost pulled my breasts out," she told me. On my flatter chest, there was zero cleavage effect.
We give the Sneaky Vaunt 1 star out of 5.
We don't know who the Sneaky Vaunt *actually* works for, but it isn't either of us. "It covered my nipples, but that's it," said Jess.
Next, we tried the Rolls-Royce of stick-on bras — the NuBra.
The 3D underwire NuBra ($68, NuBra) is supposed to be the best. It has powdered silicone cups, a built-in underwire, and a front-clip for added support and cleavage enhancement. It only comes in nude and is available in sizes A through D.
I tried the C. Though it was a little tricky to position correctly, once I stuck it on my chest, I was in love.
Though the bra itself felt like two heavy chicken cutlets, it definitely lifted and defined my boobs. The soft silicone also added what felt like an extra cup size, which I wasn't about to kick out of bed.
My boobs looked great in this! I only had two small problems.
I was pre-menstrual when we took these pictures, and one of my breasts was bigger than the other. This bra really made that evident — there didn't seem to be any way to course-correct for asymmetrical boobs. So there's that.
Secondly, the adhesive on the NuBra is POWERFUL, and there's no "blank" spot in the middle to protect your nipples. Wear pasties, guys, or you'll lose an areola.
Jess, who tried the D, was similarly into the NuBra. "This is giving me GREAT cleavage!" she said.
After that, we tried the most accessible stick-on bra — the Victoria's Secret PINK stick-on backless bra, which seems to be available in EVERY VS store.
I tried the B/C size. Unfortunately, I was unimpressed by this bra once I had it on.
While it covered my nipples, it also seemed to push my breasts farther apart. NOT GREAT, BOB.
If you don't have especially large breasts (me), or boobs that are a little wider-set (also me), it's impossible to use this bra to fake any kind of cleavage.
Even if you scoop your breasts into the cups like ice cream, the Victoria's Secret bra still doesn't stretch far enough out to the sides to push 'em together. Because there's no front clasp, you can't attach the cups one boob at a time, which makes it awkward. And sadly, the adhesive wasn't sticky.
But the inside of the bra *was* pink. So there's that.
PINK by name, pink by nature.
Jess, wearing the D/DD, fared even more poorly with Victoria's Secret. "This is a joke," she said. "This cup is meant to fit a DD? This will cover ONE breast at a time!"
At first, I was really concerned about the SERIOUS adhesive inside this bra... but then something amazing happened.
I REALLY, REALLY LIKED IT.
This Amazon bra ticked every box for me: The clasp in the front was low enough for a hypothetical deep neckline, my breasts felt supported, and I had some MAJOR cleave happening.
While I gave this bra five stars, Jess only gave it one — so this Amazon bra averages out to 2.5 stars out of 5.
While we *usually* like the same things, we don't ALWAYS. That's OK! Different people (and boobs) like different things (and bras).
Because we are gluttons for punishment, the fifth stick-on bra that we tried was from Fashion Nova.
Once again — this bra didn't look too bad from far away. I wore a C and it *seemed* fine.
But up close, once again, it was a wrinkly mess. The shoelace-style drawstring barely even worked!
Like the Sneaky Vaunt Bra, you're supposed to stick the Fashion Nova bra cups to your breasts, then pull the drawstring to smoosh your boobs together.
But it didn't.
The drawstring was so stiff that the cups barely moved, and the cups themselves were so large that they hid any cleavage I might have developed.
"I wanted this bra to be the one, but Fashion Nova played me again," said Jess. "That brand wants to be body positive so much, but they're not positive about a body like mine."
The final stick-on bra we both tried was a bit of a dark horse — the Bring It Up Breast Shapers.
You place the cups on your boobs, then unpeel the top of the sticker, lift the petal and your breast up higher, then stick the petals back down on your skin. Voila, instant breast lift!
But would they really work???
THEY SURE DID. On the left, my breast lifted with the petals. On the right, my breast normally. The difference is stunning.
I'm a size 30D wearing size C, and this was a revelation. Damn. DAAAAAAAMN.
Though they didn't give a ton of support, I was really impressed with these petals for a few crucial reasons.
The Bring It Up shapers are made of silicone, so they didn't need glue to adhere to my skin — and they didn't rip off my nipple when I took them off. My boobs looked IMPECCABLE.
Meanwhile, Jess had high hopes for the DD size she was wearing. "I really wanted these to work," said Jess. "And they brought my breasts up a little, but not as much as I wanted them to."
"They weren't powerful enough to lift my heavy titties," she said. "And the small lift I got didn't last as long as I wanted it to."
"These breast shapers would make you look good for an Instagram story," Jess said. "Not for a whole day. And I started sweating, forget it. These are sliding off."
We give the Breast Shapers 3 out of 5 stars.
My smaller boobs give this bra five stars, while Jess' melons give them two. Breast buyer, beware.
What did we learn from our stick-on bra extravaganza?
We learned that every body (and boob) is different, and the only way to know what's really going to work for you is to try them. A lot of them, probably.
We learned that even though stick-on bras SEEM like the solution to all your underwire-hating problems, they often cause more issues than they solve.
We learned that if an Instagram product seems too good to be true, it probably is.