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Kaitlyn gets put through the Nick ringer (Season 11, 2015)

Kaitlyn Bristowe Nick Viall bachelorette
photo: ABC

Yep, it’s that Nick again! 

Viall made another "Bachelorette" appearance halfway through filming in Bristowe's season — she ran into him on a New York group date — and his eventful second stint on the show prompted endless debates about what, if anything, Bristowe owed the men who had devoted several months of their life to wooing her.

Those conversations came (pun intended) to a head later on in the season, when Bristowe and Viall bucked Bachelor Nation tradition by sleeping together on their first official date (their first official date on the show, at least; the two knew each other from before filming as well). Then, during the "Men Tell All" episode that aired months after filming, Bristowe revealed to Harrison that she received actual death threats for hooking up with Viall.

“Spreading the hate people have been is not okay," Bristowe said. "The hardest part is it affects my family. I can handle it. It doesn't feel good, but I can handle it ...  I like to think that it doesn't matter what people think about me ... but when it's thousands and thousands [of comments] just pouring in of people hating … I get death threats. That hurts.”

Why this needs to change for JoJo.

bachelorette jojo fletcher
photo: ABC

According to "Bachelor" and "Bachelorette" creator Mike Fleiss, the average Bachelor sleeps with three women during the two to three months they spend filming (though one Bachelor reportedly slept with as many as 16). Recent seasons featured Bachelor Chris Soules inviting a girl to “take a nap” with him early on in filming, and Bachelor Ben Higgins declared love to — and then spent consecutive nights with — multiple girls.

I don’t think those Bachelors should be shamed for taking advantage of the unique opportunities provided by the show to (presumably) explore their physical compatibility with different partners. Even in as strange a context as a reality matchmaking series, sex can be awesome and healthy. What riles me up is that, when men have sex on the show, it’s just “the Bachelor being the Bachelor,” but when the Bachelorette or a female contestant has sex, she’s deemed a slut and a whore.

True, few if any Bachelors have ever been as frank about sex-during-filming as Bristowe, or "outed" for doing it in the same way that Dorfman was, but I strongly suspect that if a future Bachelor is ever explicitly revealed to have had sex on the show, they won’t be condemned in the same way the women of Bachelor Nation have been.

Bottom line is, "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" need to fix their attitude towards sex overall — for a franchise that fetishizes intimacy as a general concept, it’s desperate to appear chaste. But more specifically, they need to fix the double standard with men and women's sex lives. For Fletcher, and for the millions of women watching at home.