If there's one thing we all know about "Game of Thrones" C-character Grey Worm — brought to life by the 26-year-old English actor Jacob Anderson — it's that he doesn't have a penis. For those of us who look for that sort of thing in our romantic lives, it's a major red flag.
However, there's also no denying that, from the moment he was rescued by everyone's favorite ~ White Savior ~ Daenerys Targaryen back in Season 3, Grey Worm has been a favorite low key "GoT" crush for many of the series' thirsty-as-hell fans — and the gorgeous Missandei, of course.
Dick or nah, here are all the moments when Grey Worm — WHO IS A SUCCESSFUL FREAKING MUSICIAN IN REAL LIFE — made you feel a little bit confused in the nether-regions ... both on the screen, and off:
When he emerged from the sea like a chiseled merman to peep Missandei's, ahem, assets.
True, he shouldn't have been staring. But at this point, the flirtation had been going on for ~ eons ~ ... and he totally apologized.
When he gave that speech about being proud of his name even though, let's face it, it's a terrible name.
Grey Worm is possibly the least sexy name one could have, minus Eugene McFartypants. But his stoic pride in his given moniker is sexy as hell, especially because all of his damn speeches about it tend to revolve around how much he loves the women in his life, Daenerys and Missandei. If only the rest of the dudes with dicks were so forthcoming with their affections.
When we saw how alluring his stern expression becomes in the candlelight.
How is this man so attractive? How does Dany T. curate hot dudes for her squad like they're a Spotify playlist?
When he was injured in battle for Daenerys (of course) then Missandei finally did what what WE'D ALL BEEN THINKING for three whole years, and he just sat back and let it happen.
War is devastating. "Battle of the Bastards" made that loud and clear. But a handsome wounded soldier lying there all strong-yet-helpless? Saying that when he got stabbed, "I fear, I never again see Missandei?" Dude, that's hot.
When Missandei told a joke and he made this face even though he fucking HATED it.
Missandei needs to up her joke game — but let's be real, so does Tyrion, because that Westerosi houses and the fly-cup bit just didn't really work for me. Either way, Grey Worm's response to Missandei's laughter after he said "I make joke" was enough to have me saying "Jamie Lannister who?" Kingslayer, bye. Grey Worm is the realest catch on this show, outside of maybe Pod.
When someone stepped to his fave and he did THIS.
(Violence looks good on you, BB.)
(Look at Missandei in the background. She LOVES it.)
When Missandei tried to sympathize with his plight, and he was all, "GIRL, WHAT PLIGHT?"
Again ... I don't know if it's Daario's influence or a god-given talent, but dude's got game for someone who's been out of it, oh, 9.5/10ths of his life.
When he totally needed help with his Hooked on Phonics, but he was cute and sincere about it so whatever.
Seriously, the "Hot for Teacher" thing is timelessly sexy. And at least — unlike "Pretty Little Liars" — this time it's age appropriate.
There's a reason why the teacher/student set-up is the beginning of many a porno. It hot.
... And, ahem, a successful music career as Raleigh Ritchie.
No joke, Grey Worm has racked up millions of music video views for songs like "Stronger Than Ever," which he records under the pseudonym Raleigh Ritchie. He lists Kanye West, David Bowie, and Erykah Badu as his influences, and his recent debut album, "You're a Man Now, Boy" garnered rave reviews from critics and fans alike.