The wait for "Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life" is almost over, and oy with the dang poodles, it's about time.
Since the premiere date was announced in July, many "Gilmore" fans have passed the days as best they could — with show-inspired cookbooks, Gilmore drinking games, movie marathons, and a whole lot of coffee. And come Friday (November 25), all that preparation (and those calories) will undoubtedly pay off with a four-part revival that's already earning rave reviews. Be still, our beating hearts!
Besides ample opportunity for bingeing and gorging, though, the past few months have also allowed time to reflect on the questions we most need answered in the revival. And boy, are we ready for answers. Here are 25 burning questions "A Year In the Life" had better address.
Did Luke (finally) move into Lorelai's house, for good?
We know they're still together, and that Lorelai owns the same house. Obviously they were never going to shack up in Luke's dingy hole above the diner (though that would be easy coffee access for Lorelai). Clearly, he's moved in with her by now — right?
How is that Rory has neither credit nor underwear, as she claims in the trailer, and yet she can afford transatlantic travel?
According to the trailer, Rory's been off living her "rootless," Jack Kerouac-esque existence — in two of the most expensive cities in the world, New York City and London. And what I wanna know is, how? Teach me your ways, Gilmore!
And why is she waiting in line in front of Wonder Woman and Quicksilver?
What's happening here? Comics were never a key player in Rory and Lorelai's pop culture references book. But with the mainstream rise of superhero movies, has that changed?
Speaking of new hobbies — Lorelai enjoys the great outdoors now? When did that start?
No, but quite seriously — when?
Is Jess truly still driving the same car, and if so, why?
Many moons ago when "A Year in the Life" had just begun filming (so, like, in April), a stealthy fan spotted Jess' old car on set. That thing was rust bucket when we last saw Mr. Mariano 10 years ago. If he is, indeed, still driving it now, the question is — why?
Has he been dubbed Charles Bukowski's successor yet?
It's a comparison our fave literary fuckboy would likely wet himself over. But, in all seriousness, how many e-books has he self-published by now? Do any of them contain characters bearing a not-so-subtle likeness to Rory?
And on the subject of Jess, did he ever let go of his beef with that "vicious" swan?
Don't forget, it was a vicious swan! A big, stupid, vicious swan!
WHAT in the goddess' name is Kirk doing at Friday night dinner?
In another revival pic, we see Luke standing stiffly next to Emily's dining room table, despite the presence of Richard's empty chair (sad). Are we to infer that he and Emily still haven't been able to make full amends, and that Kirk becomes Lorelai's stand-in Friday night dinner date?
Also, what's up with the early promotional pic Netflix bestowed upon us showing Rory as a teacher?
This was one of the first promotional pics Netflix shared, so it felt pretty significant. Does it show Rory crashing a Chilton English class, or is she actually teaching now? And if so, where did she go to grad school?
If she is teaching, she likely isn't doing so full-time, considering all the references that've been made to her "vagabond" (read: probably still pretty privileged) lifestyle.
Since when did Emily Gilmore start shopping at Kohl's and wearing t-shirts and denim?
The shirt, just fyi, says "Candie's" on it, meaning it's not only a T-shirt, but a graphic one at that. What prompted Emily's unexpected fashion makeover? Was it Richard's passing?
Do we ever see justice for that most shat-upon of characters, Lane Kim?
And is there (finally) more diversity in the ol' Hollow of Stars?
TV was an awfully different world in 2007. Will those old assertions that "Gilmore Girls" is casually racist, especially in its depiction of Korean culture, resurface with the revival, or have the show's creators finally addressed that?
How far along is Paris Gellar on her mission for world domination?
It's been 10 years. Surely, she's made some pretty significant headway by now.
Has Dean finally seen a doctor regarding his alarming lack of a spine?
A fully grown, fully able man with a complete lack of a spine. Dean is a medical marvel! Based off his wistful, sadboy expression in the trailer, we're going to guess nothing much has changed here.
And also — are we all going to keep pretending like the Gilmore diet is a metabolic possibility?
Because, as Revelist's entertainment team can attest to, it most certainly is not. Plus — how are Rory and Lorelai able to order so much ethnic takeout when they live in Connecticut's most vanilla township?
Have podcasts worked their way into the Gilmores' pop culture repertoire?
They've almost definitely listened to "Serial," at least. What else?
And how does Rory feel about the rise of Buzzfeed?
Buzzfeed launched less than a year before "Gilmore Girls" went on the fritz, meaning the takeover of listicle journalism hadn't yet impacted her Serious Journalist career aspirations. Has Rory fully embraced the media interwebs yet? Or does she still dream of working at the New York Times? Is this why she seems to be super underemployed?
On a related note — which social media platforms does she use?
Is she on Twitter? Snapchat? Instagram? All of this is super hard to picture, and yet, it's kind of inevitable.
How has the rise of Netflix affected the Gilmore gals' bingeing patterns?
Has their VCR player finally bit the dust? Also, given that the rest of world now binges to the same degree Rory and Lorelai were once uniquely noted for — what will set them apart in this regard? Have they suffered a shared pop-culture consumption identity crisis as a result?
Which online dating sites does Logan use?
We don't see Logan's left hand in the trailer, only his right (yup — totally looked for this), but our guess is that lil' Huntzberger went right back to his playboy ways post-Rory. I mean, how could the boy not, with the emergence of Tinder?
Speaking of Logan — what are Life and Death Brigade reunions like?
You know they've got to be pretty epic (and exceedingly bougie, of course).
Does April make a triumphant return to Stars Hollow and finally silence her haters?
Vanessa Marano has said she hopes the revival will be her much-maligned character's "second chance," and honestly, so do we. April — who, as a reminder, was a child when we last saw her — honestly didn't deserve half the shit she got for "breaking up" Luke and Lorelai. Here's hoping her return to Stars Hollow as a full-grown brainiac babe has the townies eating their hearts out.