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8

"Troll the respawn, Jeremy."

photo: Netflix

Not so much a curse as a thing Kimmy misheard and thought was a phrase people actually use, but it does kinda sound like a weird sex thing out of context.

7

"You're fudgin' grounded!"

photo: Netflix

Everyone knows that the best time to use the F-word (fudge, of course) is when you've gotten the upper hand on a teenager. 

6

"You shut your wet mouth!"

photo: Netflix

We have so many questions about this one. What is it about a wet mouth that makes it undesirable? Are dry mouths just as odious? Is there a certain equilibrium that the ideal mouth must achieve? Is Gretchen's mouth actually wet? (Probably not, licking your lips is a sin) Let's face it, Kimmy probably doesn't know the answers either.

5

"What the hell, Brandon?"

photo: Netflix

Kimmy only legitimately "curses" once (although come on, guys, if it's in the Bible it can't be a curse, right?), and boy howdy does she mean it. 

4

"Gosh darn Mommy fudger!"

photo: Netflix

Honestly, "mommy fudger" sounds waaaay worse than the real saying. Like, if somebody called me a mother-effer I probably wouldn't even notice, but somebody who calls you a "mommy fudger" is a real deep-down creep. Or Ellie Kemper. One of the two. 

3

"I believe in Gosh, and his son, Jeepers."

photo: Netflix

All right, yes, this is not a line spoken by Kimmy but by her former captor, The Reverend Wayne Gary Wayne (Jon Hamm). But it's also one of the best jokes in the entire series, so the Reverend gets a pass just this once. Then he goes back to jail forever.

2

"What in the ham sandwich?"

photo: Netflix

A time-honored classic that Kimmy uses not once but twice over the course of Season 1. It's primary intent seems to be expressing disbelief, which is something Kimmy probably experiences on a constant basis nowadays.

1

“I’m gonna make waffles out of him.”

photo: Netflix

That's a thing people say in Durnsville. Well, West Durnsville. It's real bad. 

"Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" Season 2 hits Netflix on Friday, April 15.