Big Little Lies
photo: HBO

This past spring, "Big Little Lies" caused a splash for its gut-wrenching portrayal of domestic abuse.

The HBO limited drama series highlighted seemingly perfect women who perpetuated a facade of stability while their interior lives were falling apart. 

Case in point: the marriage of Celeste Wright (Nicole Kidman) and Perry Wright (Alexander Skarsgård).

Viewers watched in horror as Kidman's character suffered at the hands of her controlling husband. Any "intimacy" between the couple was shocking, violent, and abusive. 

Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman sex scenes
photo: HBO

Those graphic sex scenes were hard to watch, but they were necessary for an accurate portrayal of the type of abuse one in three women will experience in their lifetime.

However, Kidman recently revealed that filming these scenes negatively impacted her psyche  — and those devastating feelings didn't just go away once cameras stopped rolling.

In a recent interview with W Magazine, Kidman said filming the abusive scenes made her feel "exposed and vulnerable, and deeply humiliated."

Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman sex scene
photo: HBO

Kidman admitted that the sex scenes — which were usually not rehearsed — "felt dangerous and really upsetting."

"When I would go home, I would feel ashamed," the actress recalled. "I felt very exposed and vulnerable, and deeply humiliated at times."

Acting out such graphic depictions was debilitating.

"I remember lying on the floor in the bathroom at the very end when we were doing the scenes in episode seven," Kidman continued.

"I was lying on the floor and I just wouldn't get up in-between takes."

"I was just lying there, sort of broken and crying, and I remember at one point [director] Jean-Marc [Vallée] coming over and just sort of placing a towel over me," she remembered. "Because I was just lying there in half-torn underwear and just basically on the ground with nothing on, and I was just like [gasps]."

Post-filming, Kidman was left with deep, massive bruises — and emotional scars.

Big Little Lies Nicole Kidman sex scenes
photo: HBO

In March, Kidman told Vogue that her husband, Keith Urban, was disturbed by her physical state once filming wrapped.

"I had to take things like Advil because I was being thrown around physically," she said. "I was really bruised. At one point Keith was like, 'I'm going to take a photo of your back because it's covered in deep, massive bruises.' He was devastated seeing it."

But Kidman pushed through.

Bringing domestic violence to light made filming those tough scenes worth it.

"I would have flashes of images of women that have gone through this and I'm like, 'This is authentic, this is the truth and this is what I have to do,' and it would just come through like that."