photo: The CW

Small-town life is simple —  swimming at watering holes, going to high school football games, and cruising around town in your vintage convertible. "Riverdale" once embodied that vibe, but now, life in the small town is far from normal. And the new season 3 trailer shows us just how far.

Archie Andrews may have wanted life in "the town with pep" to quiet down (you know, now that the Black Hood was caught and imprisoned), but it looks like things are about to get even darker and weirder than before.

The CW shared the first full trailer for season 3 of its hit show on Wednesday, and while it's only 30 seconds long, it's quite a doozy.

Between the hookups, the villains old and new, and what definitely may be cult initiation, our jaws are already on the floor. Let's break down what we just saw, shall we?

First of all, YES, that is FP in bed with Alice. The former teenage sweethearts are hooking up now that Hal is in jail (for the whole Black Hood/serial killer situation).

Oh, and yes, that's a Southside Serpents tattoo on her thigh.

Bughead shippers will be happy to see that they look better than ever.

Betty and Jughead seem to thrive off the chaos. They're at their best when solving the crimes of "Riverdale."

Varchie shippers, however, may be in for a rough season. Veronica and Archie are looking rocky, although she swears they are #endgame. 

Last month, Mendes (Veronica) told E! that "there's a Varchie conflict that will make [fans] go crazy." Oh, and that Veronica will have a "possible new love interest." Perhaps this has to do with the fact that her beloved Archiekins is in jail? 

Oh. My. God. Kevin and Moose are making out in the school hallway!

What began as a secret hookup is now "high school hallway" official and that's a major deal.

On the not-so-romantic side of the trailer, we learn that Archie is in jail with a serpent tattoo.

photo: The CW

There also appears to be a prison riot of sorts. Do the serpents break him out? Or maybe it's Veronica? We have so many questions.

Betty seems to be involved in some sort of weird ritual that makes her pass out (or almost pass out?). Or maybe it's just a dream.

photo: The CW

Whatever it is, it looks terrifying.

More important, she sees this horrifying horned tree-demon.

photo: The CW

WTF IS THIS THING? HELP.

Oh, and there's a casual baby-sacrificing ritual going on in the Cooper's backyard.

photo: The CW

We saw a glimpse of this in a previous trailer, and it definitely looks very much like human sacrifice.

Presumably, this is connected to "The Farm" — a.k.a. the mysterious cult that Betty's sister Polly joined to raise her babies in season 2.

BTW, Lili Reinhart (the Betty Cooper) says this season is her favorite, so buckle up, people.

Based on this 30-second trailer, we're definitely in for a wild ride.

photo: The CW

Mark your calendars: Season 3 of "Riverdale" premieres October 10.

Time to go rewatch seasons 1 and 2 on CWTV.com.